


Falling Like Ashes to the Ground

by shinysylver



Series: Light the Night with Stars [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Force Ghosts, Future Fic, Getting Together, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Meditation, On the Run, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redemption, The Force, Visions, War Criminals, and now our idiots are having to evaluate their life choices, and they have Issues with each other, or something like it, the Resistance won, the past never dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-24 15:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15633795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: War criminals Kylo Ren and General Hux are forced to depend on each other to evade capture. With the Resistance drawing closer, can they overcome their animosity and finally learn to work together?It would certainly be a lot easier if Kylo could follow his own advice and let the past die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Believer by Imagine Dragons, a song that screams Kylo to me.
> 
> I somehow tripped on the way out of The Last Jedi and fell headfirst into this fandom. I've spent half a year on this fic and it's the longest thing I've ever written. It is completed and should be posted at regular intervals over the next month or so. 
> 
> I would like to thank my friends shadynaiad and camshaft22 for following me down this rabbit hole and helping me immensely as I worked through plot and writer's blocks. I'd also like to thank Kels for reading through the whole thing even though they've never even seen the original Star Wars movies. I couldn't have done this without all of you.

Episode X

The FIRST ORDER has been destroyed by the RESISTANCE and its surviving members scattered to the Outer Rim in an attempt to outrun their pursuers.

Faced with a resurgent RESISTANCE and reborn REPUBLIC, the FIRST ORDER ships have fallen one by one. All that’s left of the once proud Order is the cruiser Reckoning and its crew of desperate war criminals, including the former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and General Hux.

With the Resistance drawing ever closer, can they overcome their past animosity to avoid capture…

**

Hux held on to the console to stay upright as the Reckoning took damage. No matter how many hyperspace jumps they made the Resistance was always just one step behind them.

It hadn't taken long for the Resistance to come up with their own version of hyperspace tracking. The irony that _he_ was now the one tethered at the end of a string had not escaped him. And he'd been so proud of that strategy too.  

"Jump!" Ren yelled in his ear as if raising his voice made his commands more effective. It didn't.

"Where to?" Hux asked between gritted teeth. He thought about adding a sarcastic "Supreme Leader," but decided this wasn't the time. If he got Force-choked now, there would be no one left to get them out of this mess because there was no way Ren would. He was not the brightest lightsaber in the Galaxy.

Ren looked frustrated and stepped closer to the consoles. Hux kept his eyes fixed resolutely on his own panel, refusing to let them slip to the mechanical arm that had been hastily attached to Ren's mangled stump. No good would come of drawing attention to the evidence of Ren’s latest failure.

By all measures Ren should still be recovering in a proper medical ward and not stomping around the bridge. He was probably using the Force to cheat nature. Like usual. "There has to be some way to distract them."

Hux pressed a few buttons and added up some numbers in his head. "We only have enough fuel left for one more jump, but we _could_ make it a long one."

Ren looked at him expectantly. Perhaps his latest and most devastating loss to that Rey girl had knocked enough sense into his head that he was actually willing to listen for a change. Not that he'd ever been prone to humility in the past.

Hux pulled up a map showing a particularly uninhabited section of the Outer Rim. "If we jump here and immediately pull into the asteroid belt, we should have enough time to use the escape shuttles before they can catch up and see what we're doing."

Ren loomed over his shoulder to get a better look at the map and Hux did his best to not show any reaction at all. Hux never showed fear and he certainly wasn't about to start now no matter how many times he'd been choked or thrown against a wall.

And he _definitely_ wasn't going to acknowledge any of the other responses Ren's closeness provoked in his body. That door had been slammed shut years ago.

"The shuttles are barely better than an escape pod. They don't have the best navigation and that asteroid field is dense."

Hux lowered his voice so the rest of the crew wouldn’t be able to hear him. "I refuse to surrender and face the executioner. A chance at survival—even a slim one—is better than nothing."

Technically the New Republic had outlawed capital punishment in its hastily cobbled together Constitution, but Hux didn't feel the need to test their resolve. He would be a tempting target for all the anger and grief that the war had caused. And unlike Ren he didn't have family to shield him or unholy powers to protect him. No, Hux was not going to surrender to the angry mobs he'd left in his wake.

But he wasn't going to depend solely on luck either. "The shuttles fit two men each. You and I will be sharing one."

Ren gave him a long look, but thankfully Hux didn't feel the unnerving intrusion into his mind that often accompanied Ren's full attention. "You want to use me to increase your odds of survival."

"Of course I do," Hux scoffed. He may not like the Force, but he wasn't a fool. Ren behind the controls of their shuttle could well be the difference between life and death in that asteroid field. "You would use me if our roles were reversed and your survival was on the line."

"Our roles will never be reversed," Ren said dismissively. "But seeing as there are no medical droids I'll let you accompany me to tend to my arm."

Hux wanted to rail against the implication that he was useless--lesser even than a droid--but instead he bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. Ren was giving him what he wanted, he just had to keep his mouth shut. His pride could take the hit as long as he survived.

They were already running the Reckoning with a skeleton crew so there weren’t many people to evacuate. Hux had always taken his leadership role seriously so he felt an obligation to give these last few loyal officers the best chance he could. However, the reality was grim.

Ren wasn’t wrong about the deadly nature of that asteroid field and it would probably be best to keep the details quiet. With that in mind, he gave the order to abandon ship as soon as they exited hyperspace without further explanation and initiated the jump.

Once he felt the ship lurch under him he spun on his heel and followed Ren to the shuttles. For once he didn’t mind following in Ren’s wake as the remaining crew members descended into chaos--it was pathetic really as they had all been trained better--but Ren cleared a path using the Force. Anyone who made the mistake of getting in their way was flung aside with much prejudice.

He also used his powers to make sure their ship had the lion’s share of the supplies, even going so far as to take a medical bag right out of a lieutenant’s hands from across the room. Under ordinary circumstances, Hux would have protested the abuse of his crew, but given the situation he was hardly going to complain. He doubted many of these men would survive the hour.

To an untrained eye Ren’s control over the Force was as strong as ever as he exerted his will on the others, but Hux could see the strain it was taking. He was favoring his missing arm and breaking out into a sweat as if even this small use was difficult for him. Hux had seen him cause much more damage without so much as blinking in the past.

He couldn’t have Ren exhausting himself before they even got to the asteroid field. That wasn’t part of the plan.

“All right!” Hux barked out in his command voice. He rested his hand on his blaster to remind the others that he was still in charge here. “On the ships now.”

Most of the men obeyed him immediately out of sheer habit if nothing else--although he liked to think it was born of respect--and the ones who didn’t were persuaded to as soon as he actually drew the blaster. He’d been known to shoot cowards before the Resistance could, which had led to the lowest desertion rate in the Order.

“You’re welcome,” Hux murmured to Ren as he passed him and took the co-pilot’s seat in the shuttle.

Ren glared at him, but refrained from lashing out with the Force as Hux half expected him to. It was even more evidence Ren really was weaker right now than he was letting on. The thought was almost enough to put Hux in a good mood despite their current circumstances.

The crate of supplies Ren was floating into their ship landed squarely on Hux’s foot in a rather childish attempt at retaliation, but Hux didn’t give him the pleasure of reacting. If Ren thought he’d get a reaction out of a stubbed toe he was gravely mistaken.

“We need to leave now with the others so that if the Resistance does see us they won’t know which of the shuttles to chase.” Hux tilted his head as a thought came to him. “Unless that Jedi girl is on one of the ships? She could sense you right?”

“She’s not there,” Ren answered curtly as he sat in the pilot’s seat. “There’s no one trained in the Force on those ships.” He clumsily flexed his mechanical hand into a fist. It was an old model and the nerve alignment was questionable, making the movements jerky. “In other circumstances….”

He didn’t need to finish the thought. Hux had lost too many battles despite having vastly more power--the Starkiller fiasco for example--that he knew all too well the frustration Ren was feeling. In this one thing he could almost sympathize with him. Or he would have been able to if everything wasn’t Ren’s fault to start with. His inept leadership and frivolous obsessions had led the Order to ruin and it served him right to finally be experiencing the humiliation that he’d forced on Hux time and again.

Ren scowled at him as if he’d heard Hux’s thoughts--which he might very well have--before turning his complete attention to the control panels.

Their ship launched into the asteroid field and the debris of at least one unlucky shuttle which must have been immediately struck down. The field was dense with barely enough room to maneuver, but as expected Ren was able to thread the needle, weaving through the asteroids as if he knew where they would be before they even showed up on the ship’s radar.

It was times like this that Hux almost wished he could access the Force for his own use. With that kind of power and foresight, Hux would have done great things—unlike Ren who squandered his gifts and seemed only destined to ruination.

“There should be a planet not far from here,” Hux said. He pulled up a star map and pointed at the planet closest to their current position. The shuttles weren't meant for long trips, but the planet wasn't too far away. “We should be able to make it there.”

Ren didn’t spare him a glance, all of his attention focused on maneuvering their ship, but he did change bearings slightly so Hux assumed that his suggestion had been taken.

Hux studied the sparse information in the Order’s database about the planet. Its name was Dagobah and apparently it was uninhabited. It didn’t have any resources that would have brought it to the attention of the Empire or the Order. Lacking anything useful, it had been practically forgotten since its discovery centuries ago which would make it the perfect place to hide out until the Resistance called off their pursuit.

**

Kylo didn't make it a habit of reading thoughts unless it was strategically necessary, but some people projected more than others and Hux could be particularly loud. It was especially hard to ignore when all of his thoughts were aimed at Kylo.

It didn't help that he had never been very good at shielding himself. It had been a constant source of irritation as a child. Mundane everyday thoughts had stayed private, but each fearful, worried thought directed at him by his family had been projected loud and clear. He’d improved with training, but exhaustion was making it all but impossible to ignore the smug thoughts Hux was shouting at him.

He doubted that Hux was aware of how emphatically he projected his criticisms of Kylo. He'd ignored the pointed commentary and insults when they'd served together on the Finalizer by building up his shields and purposely avoiding them. However, each minute trapped in the shuttle with Hux was like a particularly cruel test of his patience and he wasn’t known for patience. Hux was lucky that Kylo was having to devote all of his attention to staying alive at the moment.

They were almost out of the asteroid field when Kylo did lose his focus for just a fraction of a second causing his mechanical hand to fumble on the controls. The ship veered unexpectedly to the left, hitting a large chunk of space rock.

“Fuck,” Kylo cursed, as the alert lights came on in the shuttle, warning that the life support systems had been compromised.

He clenched his replacement hand into a fist and banged it against the console. He hated the cold metal hand. It was shoddily constructed requiring him to use the Force to make sure it actually did what he wanted. Forgetting for even a moment to augment his nerve signals with the Force had nearly led to disaster.

“There’s no time for one of your tantrums,” Hux yelled. He was entering information into his panel as quickly as he could. “It’s going to get very cold in here very quickly. Just get us to the planet.”

Kylo spared the time to send a venomous glare in Hux’s direction. If he wasn’t having to split his attention between flying the ship and making sure that his hand actually obeyed his orders he would been tempted to do a lot more than glare.

The planet loomed in front of them and Kylo could sense waves of the Force emanating from it. While the Force was everywhere, running through all things, there were places in the Galaxy that seemed more in tune with it than others. Whatever else this place was, it was very strong in the Force and maybe that was just what he needed right now.

“It’s going to be a crash landing,” Kylo said as they entered the atmosphere and more of his control panel lit up in red.

He closed his eyes and turned himself entirely over to the Force letting it guide his hands. He hadn’t done this in years--not since his time under Luke's tutelage--because he hated giving up control to anything, even the Force itself. But in this situation, it was the best chance they had to survive the hot landing.

Besides, it was starting to become painfully clear that he still had much to learn about the Force and to dismiss any skill that could help them would be foolish. His raw power and martial training had been wholly inadequate against Rey time and again--not to mention his humiliating loss to Luke’s projection--so maybe it was time to return to the basics.

"You aren't even looking!" Hux accused and it was the last thing Kylo heard before they crashed.

The landing was hard, but he followed his instincts, pulling up on the controls and keeping the shuttle from breaking apart. When it came to a stop, he opened his eyes and was greeted by an overgrown swamp and a hostile awareness that was lurking just at the edge of his mind. It was primitive—its brain akin to a dog—but it was dangerous.

Kylo didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t think now was the best time to find out.

He tore his safety belt off with his good hand and looked at Hux. He was hunched over in his seat cursing with one hand held up to a sluggishly bleeding cut on his forehead.

Kylo stood and used the Force to lift the majority of their supplies. "Stop complaining and get moving unless you want to be eaten by that thing."

"What thing?" Hux asked as he jumped up, grabbing the last bag of supplies.

Kylo smirked, enjoying the slightly shrill pitch to Hux’s voice. He neglected to answer the question and instead opened the shuttle door, jumping down into the thick fog which blanketed the ground. Underneath the fog was a substantial layer of swamp muck.  His boots sunk a good two inches into the foul smelling mud, but he ignored the way it sucked at them as he made his way forward.

There was life all around them, but he could easily isolate the energy from the unfriendly creature in the swamp just beyond their ship. It wouldn’t be long before it grew bold enough to explore the crash site. Kylo picked up his pace to make sure they were long gone by then.

Hux was following quickly behind him, outwardly calm although he was cursing up a storm internally. Not that that was unusual. If only Hux really knew how ineffective his brave posturing really was.

Ignoring the irritation behind him, Kylo tapped more fully into the Force and was surprised to sense a familiar echo. Luke had spoken often to Kylo of his training with the Jedi Grand Master Yoda on a swamp planet that had been long forgotten by the Galaxy, but he’d never expected to actually visit the planet himself.

When he was a child Kylo had sat at his uncle’s feet in wide-eyed rapture hanging on to every word about the mysterious Yoda and the many trials Luke had faced, but as he’d aged the stories had taken on a different tone. They’d become lectures criticizing Kylo for taking his training for granted. Luke had thought he’d lacked initiative, but he’d certainly proven him wrong.

He closed his eyes and tried to sense another path. The last thing he wanted to do was follow the imprint of his uncle which seemed to be burned into the Force, but the sun was setting and they needed shelter. He didn't have time to be picky about where.

Besides, his uncle was dead and could no longer reach him here.

Making up his mind, Kylo kept to the path the Force had laid out in front of him until after an hour of slogging through the swamp they came upon a giant tree with what looked like the ruins of a partially collapsed mud hut at it’s base.

The imprint of his uncle was strongest here and he could feel the echo of another powerful Jedi which he assumed was Yoda. The residue was old, yet still strong, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“What is it?“ Hux asked, pushing around Kylo to get a better look. “Someone used to live here? Is it safe?”

Kylo stretched his senses out, ignoring the way the purity of the Light Side here made his skin crawl, and found nothing larger than a few rats. "It's safe enough."

Safe enough for Hux at least. Kylo's entire being was resisting the idea of entering that haven of Jedi power. He'd rejected the Jedi and all that they stood for long ago and he was certain the feeling was mutual. It was a ridiculous, baseless fear since the last living Jedi was all the way across the Galaxy and she was a Jedi in name only. The Jedi and their ways were dead and buried.

Angry at himself, for indulging in fear born of childhood tales of Jedi ghosts, he stomped after Hux into the abandoned hut.

**

  
The hut was made out of mud and had clearly been abandoned for a long time. The ceiling had collapsed entirely and there were rotting remains of what looked like a sleeping pallet in one corner. There was also some rusted cookware near what must have been the hearth, but was currently a nest for something that Hux didn’t want to investigate too closely.   

"This planet was supposed to be uninhabited… although this does look like it's been abandoned for decades." Hux toed at the rotting blankets and winced as a host of large bugs fled in all directions.

Hux had spent most of his life in the sterile world of spaceships. They'd only been on this planet for a few hours and he already missed the sanitary surroundings, constantly filtered air, and immaculate uniforms ironed to crisp. Instead he had to contend with swamp muck, stiflingly humid conditions, and bugs. The bugs might be the worst part.

Well other than being stuck sharing this lovely vacation with Kylo Ren.

Hux stood up straighter, determined to put forth the right image. “This place will serve for our camp. The walls may be low, but we can use them for the shelter." Hux spun around and examined the area, mentally deciding how to use the tents in their survival supplies to best keep them dry. "We'll need to clear out the debris first."

Ren dumped their supplies just outside of the hut and stomped away. "Do what you want. I'm going to find clean water."

Hux resisted the urge to throw the bag he was carrying at Ren’s back. For one he was too far away to actually hit and for another Hux had more dignity than that. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with Ren looking for water. They needed water. But it was the way he was so… Ren about it.

Hux took a moment to take a deep breath and make a plan of action. The hut needed to be cleared out before nightfall whether or not Ren deigned to help him. So for his own comfort and sense of order he set about hauling out anything large enough to be picked up.

Despite the nearly unbearable heat, he left his pants tucked into his boots and even tucked his sleeves into his gloves as best he could. He’d never been so grateful for the thick sturdy gloves in his life as he was when he encountered the numerous unidentified and possibly venomous insects and lizards who’d made the ruined hut their home.

Once he’d cleared out the debris, Hux went outside and found a hearty bush with long enough branches that could be fashioned into a makeshift broom using the all purpose tape that was in their supplies. He used the broom to scour the hut's floor with the same determination that he’d used to clean his dorm room at the Academy. Cleanliness and order had been instilled in him at a young age and he still found comfort in them even now.

When the space was as clean as he could reasonably make it, he modified the tents in their survival kit to make a new ceiling--several feet taller than the original had been. With the tree at their back and the short walls of the hut surrounding them, they should be fairly well protected.

With the basic shelter completed, Hux set about laying out and organizing their supplies. There was no telling how long they would have to stay here. He'd assumed they would only lay low for long enough for the Resistance to pass before using their ship to hop to an inhabited planet at which point he could finally be rid of Ren for good.

The small shuttle wasn't really intended for extensive interplanetary travel, but there should be enough hyperfuel to get them to a nearby system. However, with the life support systems damaged, he was going to have to do a lot more work to get them out of here. Assuming the shuttle was even reparable.

It had to be. There was no other option that Hux could accept.

In order to keep himself busy until Ren came back from wherever he’d wandered off too Hux set about exploring the area immediately surrounding their camp. He gathered some wood that was mostly dry while he examined the plant life. He doubted they would have any trouble finding animals to eat, but he hoped that some of the vegetation would be edible as well. Unfortunately he didn’t recognize any of the plants from his swamp survival lesson at the Academy. There was a good chance Ren could use the Force to identify what was safe, but the idea of having to depend on Ren for something so basic rubbed Hux the wrong way.

He also searched the surrounding swamp for drinkable water, but everything was too stagnant and murky. Their survival supplies included water purifiers and filters, but they wouldn’t work on water that was more mud than anything else. They needed a source of running water. Hopefully Ren at least managed that much.

By the time he made it back to the camp, Ren was already there and miracle of all miracles there were two jugs full of only slightly cloudy water sitting next to him.

Hux decided that commenting on Ren’s minor success was beneath him and instead ignored him. He dropped the wood he’d gathered just inside the entrance, making sure it was sheltered from the elements, and selected the driest pieces for a fire.

He felt Ren’s eyes on him the entire time he set up the wood on the hearth and got it lit using the tools in their survival kit. It was too hot to need the fire for warmth, but their instant meal rations would taste even worse without heating them.

Once the fire was going, he dug through the crate and found the water purifying kit. “Have you treated the water?”

“I’m not incompetent.”

That was certainly a debatable point and Hux barely kept himself from commenting on it. If he was going to be stuck with Ren for the near future he was going to have to try to get along with him. Or at least save up his complaints for when Ren truly deserved them.

It was probably irrational paranoia that made him check the kit to make sure Ren had indeed used some of it. After all, if Ren wanted to kill him he wouldn’t need to give him dysentery to do it.

Once he was as sure as he reasonably could be that Ren hadn’t decided to wage a war on his intestines, Hux turned his attention to the food. There wasn’t much choice. The Order didn’t generally believe in luxuries for anyone, but the ready made meals were notoriously bad.

Deciding that the imitation fowl protein with vegetables in gravy was probably the best option available, he took two packets out and poured them into their one provided pot. He added a bit of water to thin the gravy into something more closely resembling a soup.

Meanwhile Ren made his way over to the bedrolls—unfortunately the shelter was too small to justify separating them which meant they would be stuck sleeping next to each other—and sat down with his back against the wall. His mechanical arm was lying limp in his lap while he massaged the shoulder with his other hand.

“I’ll take a look at it after we eat.” Hux kept his voice neutral and his eyes on the soup. He wasn’t a doctor, but he did have an aptitude for robotics. If command hadn’t been in his blood, he would have been an engineer.

The arm must have been even worse than Ren was letting on, because he didn’t scoff at the idea of Hux being able to help him.

Bowls weren’t a part of their survival kit so Hux sat down next to Ren with the pot between them. The soup was barely palatable and the texture was gritty. Really the only thing going for it was it’s warmth.

“I’ll need to work on the shuttle if we have any hope of getting off this planet,” Hux said after he’d eaten a few bites. “Did you really sense some sort of creature near it?”

Ren took an awkward bite, clearly not used to using his left hand for every day tasks such as using a spoon. “There was some sort of threatening beast. I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

Hux frowned at the soup. “Maybe it will taste better than this.”

“Flavor doesn’t matter,” Ren said. He took another heaping spoonful as if to make his point. “This has the nutrients we need.”

Hux rolled his eyes, but thankfully Ren wasn’t looking. For all that Ren denounced the Jedi and everything their ascetic cult stood for, he still managed to be just as much of a self-righteous ass. Between rejecting all attachments—not that Hux was bitter about that, he’d clearly dodged a bullet—and making a show of abnegating even minor luxuries like flavorful food he wasn’t much different from them.

“None-the-less, we don’t have enough food for a long stay and we should augment it with the local flora and fauna,” Hux said. He forced down another few swallows of the questionable soup before leaving the rest to Ren. Ren had more muscle mass and would need more calories and protein anyway. And if Hux derived some amusement watching him have to choke the rest of the food down in order to save face after saying taste didn’t matter, then that was just a bonus.

Ren did manage to actually finish the soup. If stubbornness was a sign of one’s willpower then no wonder Ren was such a strong Force user.

Hux took the pot and washed it out, before returning to the bedrolls with the medical bag and a small tool kit. “Let me see it.”

Ren stared at him for a long minute before opening his robe and pulling his artificial arm out of the sleeve. He struggled a bit to remove it, but Hux knew better than to offer to help. Besides, it was taking all of his willpower to not look at Ren’s bare chest. He’d put on some muscle since Hux had last seen him shirtless years ago. The black robes had hidden the development.

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Now was not the time to remember the past. There was _never_ a good time to remember the past. If Ren was right about anything it was that the past _should_ die.

Feeling more centered, Hux turned his attention to Ren’s arm. The shoulder was a mess of red scars and still healing cuts around the implanted arm, however no ordinary person would be as far along at this point without using a bacta tank or suit. It was clear that Ren had been exerting the force to heal himself.

Rey’s lightsaber had cauterized the wound and the burns had mostly healed, but the surgical incisions around the arm were another story. Hux was afraid that even with the Force, the cuts were going to get infected—especially on a swamp planet that was likely rife with diseases. If only they’d had a medical droid available to knit him back together.

He dug through their med kit and pulled out a small tin of bacta. It wasn’t much, but their supply lines had been cut off months ago, so they were lucky to have any bacta at all. Unfortunately, someone must have raided their kit in the past because there weren’t any sanitary gloves, but thankfully the bacta should kill anything lingering on Hux’s hands. He’d made sure to clean them before cooking anyway.

He carefully rubbed a thin layer over Ren’s entire wound, trying not to waste any. The last thing he needed was to get bit by one of those lizards with the fierce teeth and not have any left for himself. Once Ren’s wound was adequately covered he rubbed the excess from his hands onto the forehead cut he’d gotten in the crash. He could immediately feel the relatively minor wound closing up under the powerful gel.

The next step was to wrap Ren’s shoulder with bandages to keep the bacta where it belonged and the dirt out. Once that was complete he started to pull out the tool kit to take a look at the mechanics of the replacement arm to see if there was anything he could do to improve it, but Ren yanked his arm away.

“That’s enough.”

Hux frowned. “Suit yourself. But if that thing malfunctions again it’s on you.”

He dumped the tool kit back into the crate. He didn’t know why he had tried to go out of his way to help Ren anyway. They weren’t friends and they were barely even allies. He’d agreed to assist Ren with his basic medical needs, but fixing that damn arm was well beyond that.

Hux shook his head to clear it, before readying the camp for the night. Their supplies included a few small proximity sensors. Order survival kits didn’t normally include that kind of tech—no one wanted to waste resources on a few Stormtroopers or low level officers, especially when they could just set a night watch—but Ren seemed to have gotten one of the kits for the higher officers.

Hux went about setting up the proximity sensors around the perimeter, assured that they would wake him if any large creatures wandered too close. He didn’t know what Ren’s plans were, but he planned to get as much rest as he could so that he could work on the ship with a clear mind.

He could feel Ren’s eyes on him while he worked, but he was relieved that the insufferable man was holding his tongue. “These should alert us if anything larger than a swamp rat comes within ten feet of the shelter.”

“The Force will alert me, even if the creature is as small as a rat,” Ren commented mildly and it was all Hux could do not to march over and strangle Ren the old fashioned way.

“Forgive me for thinking you might want to sleep too,” Hux muttered as he sat down on his bedroll and removed his boots and gloves. After a moment’s consideration he removed his jacket as well. It would be uncomfortable to sleep in and with the bedroll his undershirt should be warm enough.

He made a point of lying down with his back to Ren and fixed his eyes on the steady green glow of the proximity alert, wondering if he’d just closed himself in with the most dangerous creature on the planet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read and left comments or kudos. I really appreciate them. Special thanks to the amazing shadynaiad who is giving these chapters a final edit before I post them. <3

Kylo sat cross-legged against the wall in a meditative pose, although his thoughts were wandering unchecked. Even in the best of circumstances Kylo didn’t sleep well and his current circumstances were far from ideal. If given a choice he preferred to sleep alone behind a securely locked door and even then he tended to sleep lightly so that he could sense any changes in the Force.

He knew it was a weakness, but waking to the bright green glow of Luke’s lightsaber and the unmistakable killing intent vibrating through the Force had left him cautious. Snoke had tried to break him of that particular deficiency with surprise attacks in the middle of the night that he’d called “training.” It hadn't helped.

And as if those instances weren’t enough, it wasn’t too long ago that he’d come back to consciousness in Snoke’s throne room to Hux’s murderous thoughts. It made him hesitant to turn his back on the man now.

It was an irrational fear since he’d trained long and hard to make sure the Force alerted him if there was a threat to his person. And yet he still hesitated. It was an unforgivable weakness.

Hux clearly didn’t have the same concern. He’d turned his back to Kylo and within minutes his breath had slowed into the steady patterns of sleep.

Kylo hated him.

Of course being in this place didn’t help things. The Light Side was strong here and he could feel it pulling at him, whispering at the edges of his mind in the familiar voice of his uncle.

_Failure._

_Selfish._

_Murderer._

He clenched his mechanical hand into a fist—one of the few things it was still good for—but managed to resist the burning urge to punch something. His uncle was dead. The voice had to be in his mind.

Luke had taught him that it was possible to gain immortality in the Force--that Vader had even managed it at the end--but Kylo assumed the claim was more lies from Luke. Lies to mislead Kylo about his grandfather and keep him beholden to the Jedi ways. After all, if there had been any truth to it, why hadn't he been able to speak with Vader after years of trying?

After he'd severed his attachment to Han he'd thought he'd heard Han's voice in his dreams, but that had been his own conflicted feelings. His father hadn't even believed in the Force--not truly--and his willful rejection of it had been difficult for Kylo as a child. It had felt like a rejection of Kylo himself.

Kylo punched his thigh with his metal hand, relishing the sharp blossom of pain. The last thing he needed was to give in to his conflicted feelings now. There was nothing he could do about the past and dwelling on it was an exercise in futility.

Instead he stood up, needing to escape this place if he was going to have any chance of clearing his mind enough to sleep tonight.

Kylo waved his hand at the proximity sensors, disabling them with a thought as he left the cave. Hux had no clue how useless they really were in the face of true power, but he reactivated them nonetheless. They would keep the beasts from killing Hux before he had a chance to fix the shuttle and get them out of this hell hole.

He wandered aimlessly away from the camp letting the Force set his path and the further he got from the shelter the calmer he felt. The overwhelming power of the Light was messing with his mind, making him hear ghosts where there were none.

It wasn’t that he had a problem with the Light Side—not anymore. He rejected the idea that he should have to pick Light or Dark. The ways of the Jedi and the Sith were both outdated. Power was power. But the power of the Dark Side suited him best. Besides, the hut stank of Jedi and he did loathe that dead Order.

He’d been walking for a while before he realized that what he'd thought was aimless wandering was in fact purposeful. He was being guided toward something by a comforting darkness that soothed where the light had burned.

Kylo closed his eyes and extended his mind in front of him until he could see the entrance of a cave shrouded in a Darkness much deeper than the night. There was always balance in the Force. The abandoned hut that was imbued with the powers of a Jedi Master was balanced by a cave that was drenched in the Dark Side.

This cave was exactly what he needed. Its concentrated power would lend itself to meditation. His visions of the future had all fallen apart--destroyed by Rey’s lightsaber and his mother’s fleet. He needed to understand what he’d done wrong.

Kylo opened his eyes and looked at the moon. It was already well past midnight and he should head back to their camp before Hux woke and found him missing. He would have questions that Kylo would rather not answer.

He’d come back to the dark cave after he’d had time to prepare himself.

Mind made up he returned to the camp and snuck back in without setting off any of Hux’s alarms or waking the man. It was pathetic really. He couldn't believe just a few hours ago he'd been wary of falling asleep near Hux.

Kylo sat with his back against the wall, preferring that to laying close to Hux. That would bring up too many memories that he had successfully buried years ago. He placed his lightsaber in his lap and rested his good hand on it’s hilt, before leaning his head against the wall and clearing his mind. Hux may not be a threat, but better safe than sorry.

**

  
Hux was tempted to go back to the ship on his own and start assessing the damage, but Ren’s warning about a dangerous creature still lingered in his mind. He didn't trust Ren, but without being able to use the Force himself he was stuck relying on him. At least for now.

He glanced at the corner where Ren was meditating. He’d insisted on “centering” himself or some other pseudo-Jedi tripe before they returned to the ship. If Hux wasn’t eager to get a move on, he’d find it hilarious that Ren of all people was even capable of meditation. He wasn’t exactly known for his calm control.

While Ren became one with the Force—or whatever he was doing—Hux ate a breakfast of a hard roll and jerky. The jerky was vaguely meat flavored, but it was impossible to tell what sort of meat it was trying to imitate. Lab created proteins were all the same—cheap to make and miserable to eat.

He washed the dry food down with a few swallows of water from his canteen and moved on to inventorying the toolkit. It wasn’t as extensive as he’d like for working on a space shuttle, but it would have to do.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Ren stood and swept out of the shelter without a word.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Hux muttered as he rushed to follow him. “Don’t you even want to eat something?”

Ren didn’t answer him and Hux rolled his eyes. He didn’t actually care if Ren starved to death as long as he got rid of whatever monster was lurking in the swamp first.

Ren was the opposite of stealthy, making a racket as he stomped through the muck, his robes swirling around him, stirring up the fog. It was a dramatic sight that Hux had no doubt would have sent civilians and members of the Resistance fleeing in terror, but he doubted it would work on whatever animals were lurking just out of sight.

Hux slung the bag with the tool kit and his lunch over his shoulder and drew his blaster just in case. He was perfectly content to let Ren risk his own life eliminating the threat, but he wasn’t stupid enough to depend on Ren’s skill in battle. Hux had seen him lose one too many times for that.

Ren slowed his pace and drew his lightsaber with his left hand as they approached the crash site. Unlike when he’d awkwardly used the spoon, he seemed controlled and confident holding his sword with his non-dominant hand. “Stay back.”

Since Hux had no intention of losing his head to an errant swing of a lightsaber, he obeyed the order and set his back to the hull of the ship.

Ren’s lightsaber extended--the red glow bright enough that Hux had to avert his eyes--and he stood in the clearing made by the crash with his head tilted as if he were listening to something.

“Is it still here?” Hux asked after several minutes of silence. Although now that he was paying attention, it was _too_ quiet.This planet was teaming with life and he’d quickly grown used to the constant buzz of insects and the rustling sound made by small creatures scurrying through the undergrowth. Those sounds were missing now.

“She’s watching,” Ren said, his head still tilted.

“She?”

“Her nest is near here,” Ren explained. “She’s guarding her clutch.”

“And you can tell all of that with the Force?” Hux asked doubtfully. It was one thing to read a human’s mind, but what kind of thoughts would an animal even have for Ren to read, let alone understand?

Ren didn't answer him, still entirely focused on whatever he could hear through the Force. After a moment his leg slid forward and he crouched into a fighting stance. Hux still couldn't see anything, but he raised his blaster ready for whatever was coming.

He felt it before he saw it. The ground beneath him trembled as a large lizard emerged from the trees. It was like something out of the paleobiology texts he'd read as a child. It was taller than Ren by at least a foot, with a long sweeping tail that added several feet to its length.

It's arms were short and held close to its body, rendering its wicked claws nearly useless against the longer reach of Ren's sword. However, it's teeth were an entirely different matter. The creature's head seemed to mostly consist of a giant, elongated mouth full of vicious looking teeth.

Ren was standing still in the center of the clearing as the beast ran at him and Hux decided to take his shot while he could. He took aim with his blaster and managed to get a direct shot at its chest. Unfortunately its hide was thicker than it looked and the blast was deflected to the side where it left a smoking hole in the ground.

"Idiot!" Ren yelled as the lizard changed directions and ran straight at Hux.  

Hux kept his blaster aimed at the creature, but he knew better than to shoot again. The only place not covered by the thick skin was its eyes and he wasn't a good enough shot to hit such a small target while in motion.

He pressed his back against the ship and wracked his brain to come up with a course of action. He couldn't out run it and he couldn't shoot it. There was a small gap under the ship that he might be able to squeeze into, making it harder for the thing to reach him, but it would mean turning his back on it which he didn't want to do.

Hux was running out of time to make a decision when suddenly Ren was there.

There was a burst of sparks as Ren's lightsaber struck the lizard in the chest. Normally a hit like that would cleave a person in two, but the animal's skin was tougher than any armor Hux had ever seen. It managed to stand up to the lightsaber, forcing Ren to press forward, driving the point of his sword into the creature.

The clearing was suddenly filled with the stench of burning flesh as the lizard let out a horrible sounding scream and shied away from Ren. The lightsaber had left a blackened wound in the center of its chest.

It turned to go, clearly realizing that this was not a battle it wanted, but Ren raised his mechanical hand and clenched it like a claw. The beast stopped in its tracks and began convulsing.

Ren slowly closed his clawed hand into a fist and then lowered it abruptly. The lizard fell to the ground, unmoving.

Hux took a deep breath and mentally reminded himself that for all of his idiocy, Ren was indeed the most dangerous thing on this planet or any other.

He stepped away from the ship and straightened his back, trying to appear more confident than he felt in the face of Ren’s power. "Is the meat edible?"

Ren turned to look at him, his hair hanging in sweat damp strands over his face. "It's not poisonous." He closed his eyes and tilted his head the way he'd done as he listened to the Force before. "I'll be back."

Hux watched him stalk into the trees in the same direction the lizard had come from. Deciding he didn't really want to know, Hux crouched down by the dead beast and examined its hide. It would take some work, but he could probably use their tools to remove some of the skin. If he ever got back to civilization he'd love to examine its properties to improve the stormtrooper armor.

Hux froze when he realized that he'd already let himself forget why they were here in the first place. The Order was destroyed. There would be no more stormtroopers. And if he ever got off this planet he'd be on the run for the rest of his life.

He sighed. At least the meat had to be better than their rations.

**

  
Hux was a regimented person by nature and even in such extreme circumstances he developed a routine. He would spend his mornings working on the ship while Ren meditated in the clearing. He stayed close in case another prehistoric lizard showed up, but nothing larger than a swamp rat had dared to venture nearby since the fight.

Hux privately wondered if Ren was actually staying so close to make sure that Hux didn’t take off and leave him on the planet. It _would_ be tempting to just leave him behind with all of the rest of Hux’s baggage. If only he thought he could get away with it.

Their afternoons were spent gathering supplies. Ren continued to provide their water and the occasional edible lizard, while Hux tended to their campsite. Being little more than Ren’s housekeeping droid chafed at his ego, but he’d endured worse. Hux was very good at doing whatever was necessary to survive.

The nights, though, were the worst. There were thunderstorms most evenings and they would be stuck in the shelter together. They would sit in silence, neither of them speaking for hours, until sleep finally came.

Hux was used to constant stimulation. His role as general had filled up most of his time and he had often worked late into the night on budgets and procurements. He’d personally overseen personnel issues and on the rare occasion that he had nothing else to do, he’d reviewed training manuals to make sure he hadn’t fallen behind the high standards he’d set for himself.

He’d always rigorously scheduled his time to keep himself too busy to think about anything but work. Things were different now.

Hux stared across the room at Ren, not even bothering to hide his open assessment. He doubted Ren would notice or care. He was deep in meditation, sitting cross legged with his back against the wall and his hands loose in his lap.

Ren spent most of his time in meditation. He meditated long into the night—long after Hux finally gave in to sleep—and was always up before Hux. He spent his mornings meditating by the ship and his afternoons meditating while Hux cooked their dinner. Hux had never seen Ren so still before. He hadn’t thought he had the patience for it.  

“What are you doing?” Hux blurted out, tired of the suffocating silence between them. He’d been watching Ren meditate for three days with no explanation. He assumed there was a purpose to it.

Ren’s eyes slowly opened. “Meditating.”

The disdain in Ren’s voice was more than irritating. “I can see that much.”

Ren sighed. “I’m seeking answers in the Force. I need quiet.”

He closed his eyes again and Hux knew better than to press further. As much fun as provoking Ren into an argument would be, he’d learned to be cautious over the last few months. Besides, Hux didn’t really want to ruin the tenuous truce they’d developed over the last few days. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was at least functional, so he would let Ren keep his Force secrets.

Hux stood up and checked the proximity sensors before beginning his nightly ablutions.  He was rigid with his routine, washing up as best he could every night. He didn’t want to waste their water so he only used enough to dampen a cloth, which he then used to remove the dirt and sweat that had accumulated over the day. They had a small supply of harsh soap that he used sparingly. It was more important to use it to clean his hands before cooking than to clean his body.

Unfortunately he didn’t have a change of clothes so he was stuck wearing the same filthy ones day after day. If he couldn’t get the shuttle space-worthy soon, he was going to have to figure out a method for washing them.

He glanced over at Ren’s mud-streaked robe. He may do most of the cleaning at camp, but he would draw the line at washing Ren’s clothing. That would cement his status as Ren’s housekeeping droid.

Hux rinsed the cloth and hung it to dry before moving on to his teeth. Thankfully their survival gear included toothbrushes. They were basic things, requiring manpower and lacking any sonics, but they at least left one part of him feeling truly clean. He would give anything—except his freedom—for a proper refresher.

Once he was finished, he checked his bedding for snakes. Thankfully none had crept in today. Reassured that he would be the only living thing in his bedroll tonight, he laid out and turned once again to watch Ren. He was starting to wonder if Ren had been sleeping at all or just spending the entire night in meditation. If he hadn’t seen Ren sleeping with his own two eyes during their short-lived… fling… years ago he might wonder if he _ever_ slept.

During their brief time together, Hux had always fallen asleep first and Ren had always been long gone by morning, But sometimes Hux had woken up in the middle of the night and found Ren sleeping next to him, looking very young without his ever present scowl.

Hux frowned. He had purposely repressed those memories, but the longer he spent alone with Ren the more they came back to haunt him.

Hux had been a lieutenant, on his first command, and just stupid enough to think that he might have found the ally that he’d been looking for in Ren. For his part, Ren had been barely more than twenty and on his first solo mission for Snoke. He’d been temporarily assigned to Hux’s command post and they’d been immediately drawn to each other. Ren had been more open then and Hux not quite as bitter.

But while Hux had seen a powerful ally, Ren had seen an experiment. It had been doomed from the start and the next time they’d encountered each other Ren had been wearing that damn mask and had treated Hux with nothing but contempt.

Hux tried to clear his thoughts, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t shake the memory of Ren sound asleep with his dark hair spread across Hux’s pristine white pillow.

**

Kylo resisted the siren call of the Dark Side cave for seven days. He spent that time in preparation, meditating to center himself for the trials ahead. The Force never gave answers easily and he knew he would be tested.

Even as he meditated, he kept close tabs on Hux’s progress with their shuttle. He was a serviceable mechanic—unexpected in a man groomed for command—and he had made great strides in fixing the life support systems. It wouldn’t be long before they would be able to get out of this hellhole.

It was time.

He waited until midmorning, when Hux was entirely preoccupied with fixing the shuttle, before leaving his usual post in the center of the clearing. No creatures had dared to come close the the clearing after he’d killed its previous tenant so Hux should be safe on his own.

And if not, the ship was far enough along that Kylo could manage the rest with the Force if necessary.

He didn’t even have to think about where he was going, the power of the Dark Side reached out to him and guided him forward.  

As he approached the source of the power, he saw the cave with his own eyes for the first time. Its dark mouth was overgrown with vegetation and he sensed numerous animals just out of site. Clearly the power had made this a fertile place.

He dropped his bag at the entrance of the cave and lowered himself through the opening. The caverns were full of roots hanging down from the ceiling and he pushed his way through until he found an open place where he could comfortably meditate. He settled on the ground, crossing his legs underneath him and leaving his hands loose in his lap.  

Eyes closed, he cleared his mind of everything physical. With each deep breath in he acknowledged the distractions of his physical body--the burning ache in his injured arm, the itch of bug bites begging to be scratched, the bone deep weariness he'd been ignoring for weeks since the Order fell--and with each breath out he dismissed them.

Once he'd successfully reached a place where his body was no longer clamoring for his attention, he reached outward into the stream of energy flowing all around him. He needed answers and this was the place to find them.

_Why?_ He sent out the question with his consciousness. The simple word encompassed everything. Why had he failed? Why was he here? Why him at all?

It could have been hours later or maybe just minutes when he was startled awake by a loud crash. He leapt up from his bunk on the Falcon and reached for his hip, but found nothing other than the waistband of his pants. He looked down in confusion, not sure what he was expecting to find. All he saw was his familiar droid patterned pajamas. Nothing unusual at all.

There was another noise, this time accompanied by a muffled shout. He shook his head to clear his disorientation and took a few steps toward the sound.

“Mom?” He knew something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. Hopefully his mom or dad would know what was going on. “Dad?”

He had a bad feeling about this. Someone always answered when he called. He tried one more time. “Chewie?”

Ben cautiously made his way out of his bedroom and toward the cockpit. The Falcon was dim with only a few lights flickering overhead. They usually turned off the unnecessary lights when it was time for Ben to sleep, but this time the dark shadows felt ominous.

There was a strange red glow up ahead and he almost turned around to go back, but there was no place to hide on the ship. Not really. He took a deep breath and kept putting one foot in front of the other until he found the source of the light.

A tall man in a dark cowl was standing in the middle of the room. His face was completely hidden in the shadows of his hood and he was holding a glowing red sword that immediately drew Ben’s eyes. He’d seen Uncle Luke’s lightsaber of course, but he’d only ever heard of red ones in the stories his uncle had told him. Red lightsabers meant bad things.

“Ben, run,” his father yelled, darting in front of the man. Ben watched in horror as the cloaked figure ran his father through with the lightsaber, the red light erupting out of his chest.

“No!” Ben yelled. He wanted to dart forward and do something, anything, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to move.

The dark figure pushed his father’s lifeless body aside and Ben watched him fall to the ground. His father fell next to another body and Ben started shaking when he realized that his mother and Chewie were already dead. All three of them were lying motionless with gaping black holes where their hearts should be.

“No,” Ben whispered over and over again, backing away from the figure.

“What’s wrong, Ben?” The figure mocked, it’s voice strangely familiar. “Scared?”

Ben backed up until he hit the wall. He took a deep breath and tried to be brave like his Uncle Luke. “Who—who are you?”

“Don’t you recognize me? I’m doing you a favor. Eliminating the dead weight so you can stop being so pathetic.”

Ben’s fear was slowly morphing into anger. Clearly this monster had no intention of killing him outright, only taunting him. “You killed them! You’re a monster!”

“Yes _we_ are.”

The figure slowly pulled back his cowl to reveal a pale man with long dark hair and an ugly scar across one side of his face. There was something so familiar about the man that just seeing him made Ben feel dizzy. Snatches of impossible memories teased at the back of his mind.

“This is a trick. You can’t be…”

The man smiled viciously. “We can be. We can be anything.” He gestured back at the bodies with his lightsaber. “They didn’t want us. We were too complicated for them. Our power scared them. We don’t need them.”

“We?” Ben scoffed. “I would never hurt them!”

The man tilted his head. “Wouldn’t you though? Surely you’ve heard them whispering about our powers? How we can’t stay with them. It’s better this way.”

“No!” Ben yelled, shaking his head. He _had_ heard his mother and father fighting lately about Ben and the things he could do, but they loved him. They would never send him away. The man--Ben refused to accept that he was anyone but a stranger—was just trying to mess with his head.

The man raised his lightsaber so that the tip was nearly touching Ben’s chest. “You’re too weak. You were _always_ too weak. Grasping for anyone to save you—” he made a disgusted face “—to love you. Better to learn now that you only have yourself.”

With that the dark figure lunged at Ben and drove the sword directly through his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks* Every fic should have at least one cliffhanger right? 
> 
> I spent a lot of time thinking about what Kylo would experience in the Cave of Evil and I might have broken my own heart a little bit in the process.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to shadynaiad for giving this chapter a quick edit (and leaving the best comments in the google doc!)
> 
> Buckle up kids, things are coming to a head. *rubs hands together*

The last thing Hux wanted to do was search the whole blasted planet looking for Ren, but Ren never cared what Hux wanted. Ren had wandered off with barely a thought to the dangers all around them and left Hux to do the clean up. It would serve him right if he’d fallen into some quicksand or worse.

Hux had finished his work on the ship only to find Ren missing from his usual spot in the clearing. He hadn’t bothered to tell Hux where he was going so for all Hux knew he’d actually been eaten by an even larger lizard than the one they’d already encountered.

Actually, Ren being killed by a swamp lizard would be perfect for Hux. Now that they were free of the Resistance, having Ren along didn’t actually serve a purpose. He did a fraction of the work Hux did and caused the majority of Hux’s headaches.

So why was he looking for him?

Hux shook his head. It didn’t matter. He needed to know what had happened to Ren either way. He wasn’t fond of loose threads.

Thankfully the fog wasn’t as thick here and he could easily see Ren’s boot prints, which had made a rather obvious trail in the heavy mud. It was a lucky break because Hux had never taken his tracking classes seriously. He’d never seen the need when he could use a droid to do the work much more efficiently. And if he didn’t have a droid? Well he could make one. Or at least that was what he’d always assumed.

The trail ended at a hole in the ground leading into a cave. The place had an ominous feeling to it that gave him goosebumps despite the sweltering weather. He was not a superstitious man—if he hadn’t seen it for himself he wouldn’t even believe in the Force—but even he could tell that this cave was not a good place.

So, _of course_ , Ren had decided to go spelunking in it like the idiot he was.

Hux took a deep breath and very seriously considered going back to their camp to wait for Ren. If he never came back then Hux would have double the rations anyway. He turned his back on the cave and took a few steps before stopping himself.

“Damn it Ren,” he muttered. “I’m no coward.”

Hux clung to that thought as he carefully lowered himself into the cave and drew his blaster. To the naked eye there was nothing particularly unusual about it, but the further he traveled the more oppressive the darkness felt. It was almost like something ancient and evil was whispering at the back of his mind and he was just glad he couldn’t understand it. He wondered if Ren could.

After a few minutes of walking he entered an open area where he could just barely make out a dark shape on the ground. He scanned the room to make sure there was nothing imminently threatening before making his way to Ren.

Hux crouched down and cautiously pressed his hand to Ren’s chest. The steady rise and fall signaled a major problem for Hux. The last time he’d found Ren unconscious he’d seriously considered killing him and that would still be the easiest option.

He stood up and stared down at the other man. Ren was more trouble than he was worth. Hux didn’t need him to survive and if they ever got back to civilization, Ren would be a liability. He’d just proven that once again by wandering off with no thought to the danger. Not to mention his social skills were non-existent and he had no clue how to blend in.

He raised his blaster and pointed it at Ren, his finger hovering over the trigger. This _would_ be easier.

Hux pressed his finger to the trigger, yet his resolve wavered. He stared at Ren. His dark hair was stuck to his face with sweat and his cheeks were flushed with fever. His scar stood out starkly against the red of his cheeks and next to it was an inflamed bug bite, red and swollen. Something about that bite made Hux hesitate. Knowing that the all powerful Kylo Ren was vulnerable to mosquitos made him somehow more human to Hux. It reminded him of the Ren he’d first met six years ago. The Ren who’d shared his bed, albeit briefly.

“Fuck.” Hux dropped his arm so that the blaster was pointed at the ground. He wasn’t a sentimental person and not killing Ren right now was feeling dangerously close to nostalgia for their long ago fling. Strategy was what mattered and he needed to think about the situation strategically.

There _were_ many reasons to keep Ren alive when he removed his own complicated emotions from consideration and looked at things logically. He was a gifted pilot, a strong fighter, and his use of the Force could be helpful in any circumstances they found themselves in. Unfortunately he was also temperamental, impulsive, and prone to violence against Hux.

Although, now that Hux thought about it, Ren hadn’t harmed him physically in quite a while. In fact he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been choked or thrown against something. There were several incidents immediately after the death of Supreme Leader Snoke, but it had been some time since he’d received more than a scathing glare and sharp words from Ren.

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. If he decided to help Ren now, then it wasn’t just a temporary thing. This would be the best opportunity to eliminate Ren and if he didn’t, he’d be throwing his lot in with Ren for the long haul. Was he ready for that?

Did he actually have a choice? Ren as an ally was a powerful force and it wasn’t like he had many options left. If he and Ren could forge some sort of working partnership it would be the best hope they had to survive this mess.

Making up his mind, Hux holstered his blaster and tapped Ren firmly on the shoulder the way he’d been taught in the basic medic training all First Order officers took. “Ren, can you hear me?”

He repeated the action three times, speaking as loudly as he dared in the ominous cave, always keeping one eye on the shadows surrounding him. Unfortunately, he got no response from Ren so he was going to have to do this the hard way.

People often mistook Hux's slim figure and pallor for physical weakness, but they would be wrong. While he tended to use his mind to fight most of his battles, he was in good physical shape meeting all of the Order's fitness requirements.

At least that's what he'd told himself before he had to try to get two hundred pounds of unconscious Ren out of the cave and carry him all the way back to their camp. Two hundred pounds by itself wouldn't be a problem, but Ren was taller than him making him awkward to haul and the muddy terrain was unforgiving.

He really hoped the idiot appreciated this when he woke up. He wasn't stupid enough to actually believe that Ren would get his head out of his ass for long enough to thank him, but imagining it did help him persevere through that last mile.

Hux dumped Ren onto the bedroll and collapsed onto his own--for once not caring that he was getting mud and sweat all over his bedding.

"Idiot," he gasped out, trying to catch his breath. "Always doing something stupid. I should have just left you there. It would have served you right."

They were empty words and he knew it. For good or ill, he'd decided to truly throw his lot in with Ren. After all, there was no one else in the Galaxy who wouldn't turn him in to the New Republic. No one else who would help him—even if only out of self interest.

Ren made a pathetic gasping sound and Hux forced himself up on tired legs to fetch their medical supplies. He didn’t know what Ren had done to himself in that cave, but he was clearly ill. He was running a fever—a fact that had been impossible to ignore as Hux carried him. His skin had been hot to the touch, making the slog through the already stifling swamp even more miserable.

Hux stripped Ren of his boots, tossing the filthy, muddy things into the corner. Next he opened his robes to see if he could see any physical cause for the unconsciousness, but there weren’t any visible marks other than several old scars and a few innocuous looking insect bites. He even unwrapped Ren’s shoulder, but the wound was healing nicely with no sign of infection. The cuts that had been red and raw just a few days ago were almost completely healed now.

Since he couldn’t find an obvious cause for Ren’s illness, all he could do was try to treat the fever. The Order medical kit contained an all-purpose pain relieving and fever reducing powder, which Hux dug out and mixed into Ren’s canteen. It was a powerful medicine that should quickly lower Ren’s temperature, unfortunately Ren had to drink it.

This really wasn’t Hux’s day.

Hux moved behind Ren and propped him up against his body. He then brought the canteen to Ren’s lips and tried to dribble some water into his mouth.

“Come on, Ren,” Hux muttered as he watched most of the water, tinted blue by the medicine, run right back out of Ren’s mouth. “Force knows why I’m trying to save your sorry life, but I could use a little assistance.”

As if he was actually responding to Hux’s words, Ren’s eyes fluttered open, although they were glazed over enough that Hux doubted he was truly conscious.

“Come on,” Hux whispered, gentler this time. He held the canteen to Ren’s lips and gently tipped it back so that a few sips flowed into his mouth. Ren seemed to be just conscious enough to swallow several times before his eyes fluttered shut again.

Hux decided that was enough for now and set the canteen aside. He’d try to give Ren more later if the fever didn’t break. He settled Ren back on his bedroll and placed a cool damp cloth on his forehead, before taking stock of their supplies.

There was one jug of water left. Ren had been handling their water and unfortunately Hux didn’t even know where he’d been getting it. He’d been content to focus on the camp and the ship and now he hoped that Ren would wake up before they ran out. He’d hate to leave him alone and unprotected for long enough to find it himself.

Hux settled back against the wall where he could watch both Ren and the entrance to their shelter and waited.

 

**

  
“Where did I go wrong?”

“Choice was his. Made it he did.”

“I should have done better.”

Kylo struggled to open his eyes so that he could see who was talking. His mind was hazy and it was hard to think, but he swore one of the voices was known to him.

He finally managed to force his eyes open and he saw a hazy blue glow surrounding the familiar figure of his uncle—more transparent than solid—leaning over him. He tried to blink the image away, after all his uncle was dead, but if anything the vision became clearer.

“Wha—?” he asked, the word sounding more like a croak with his dry throat.

“He’s waking up,” Luke said, speaking to the little glowing alien next to him. Kylo had never seen the alien before, but he knew with a surety born of the Force that he must be Yoda. The energy emanating from him was the same as the impressions seared into the walls of the hut.

“Hmm,” Yoda agreed. “But will he finally see?”

“He never has before,” Luke said sadly.

Kylo felt the familiar indignation that he’d always felt when his uncle doubted him, but before Kylo could clear his throat to say something to the ghosts, Hux walked through them, dissipating the energy.

Once they were gone, he began to doubt what he’d seen. The hut practically radiated Luke and Yoda’s Force energy, but it always had.

“Here,” Hux held out a canteen. “You need water.”

Kylo glared at Hux. If there _had_ been something there it was his fault it was gone now. The longer he stared at Hux, though, the more he realized there was something different about him. For one thing he seemed strangely calm.

The last time Kylo had been this vulnerable in Hux’s presence, he’d woken to a hastily hidden gun and waves of killing intent vibrating through the Force. This time there was only a vague sense of mild concern. It was disconcerting, in no small part, because no one had been truly concerned about him since he’d killed his father. And the last thing he wanted to do was remember his father’s concern.

Kylo took the canteen he was offered with his left hand and awkwardly raised it to his lips. The water tasted foul, like medicine, and he quickly focused in on Hux’s mind using the Force to make sure he hadn’t poisoned the water.

Hux winced and raised a hand to his temple. “It’s for your fever. I hate it when you do that.”

Kylo frowned. Hux wasn’t lying. The medicine was just for his fever and instead of being angry about the invasion of his thoughts, the predominant emotion was resignation. Something had definitely changed while Kylo was unconscious, but he decided it would be in poor taste to sift through more of Hux’s thoughts after he’d gone to such lengths to tend to Kylo.

“What happened?”

“You tell me,” Hux said, a bit of the sarcastic edge returning to his voice. Kylo was surprised to find that he found it comforting in its familiarity. “I found you unconscious in that cave a few miles east.” He rubbed at his arms as if he had a sudden chill. “The place was unnatural.”

At Hux’s words, his vision came rushing back to him and he raised his good hand to his chest. He clutched it over his heart, relieved to find himself intact with no holes.

“I was meditating,” Kylo said, giving a partial truth. “I must have taken ill.”

Hux raised an eyebrow at him. “Or that evil cave did something to you.”

Sometimes Kylo forgot how perceptive Hux could be. He wasn’t Force sensitive, not really, but he had enough awareness to sense the dark intent in that cave and to feel Kylo when he entered his mind. His willpower and perception were formidable, no matter how badly Kylo had tried to downplay his abilities over the years.

It had always been easier when he could forget Hux was anything more than a useful pawn.

“The cave has a powerful connection to the Dark Side of the Force,” Kylo answered, deciding that telling the truth wouldn’t hurt him. “The visions it gave me were… intense.”

Hux pursed his lips, but didn’t say anything other than, “Be more careful in the future. I’d rather not have to carry you back here again.”

Kylo’s mind was still hazy from the fever and it wasn’t until Hux mentioned it that he realized Hux must have somehow gotten him out of the cave and carried him back to their camp. This place with the oppressive feeling of the Light, although after his experiences in the Dark cave he didn’t mind it so much any more.

He bit the inside of his mouth, but couldn’t hold in the words. “Thank you.”

Hux blinked at him in surprise, but thankfully didn’t do more than nod his head in acknowledgement before turning his back and sorting through their food supplies.

Kylo took another drink of the foul tasting water and thought about what had happened. Ben—the child he’d been—was clearly still close to the surface of his thoughts after he’d relived a version of his childhood in the vision. He felt open in a way he hadn’t in a very long time and he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. Thanking Hux was harmless, but something that Ben would have done not Kylo.

He rubbed at his chest again. He could still feel a phantom ache where his own lightsaber had run him through. But what did it mean? Why show him how he’d destroyed everything that was good in his life?

He already knew that.

Kylo shook his head. The past was irrelevant, he’d told himself that over and over again, and yet apparently the Force thought otherwise. Between the visions in the cave reminding him of his childhood and the ghosts he’d woken up to, the past seemed to be everywhere.

He followed Hux with his eyes, watching him pull out a meal pack and pour the thick brown gel into their pot. The past was everywhere including right in front of him.

 

**

  
Kylo followed Hux all the way through the clearing and into the shuttle. He’d managed a few hours of dreamless sleep last night thanks to his exhaustion and fever, which was more than he was used to getting since they’d crash landed here. It was probably more than he’d gotten in a single night since he’d lost his arm—that was when everything had started going wrong.

Well, more wrong than usual at least.

Kylo raised his good hand to his chest and rubbed it over his heart, reassuring himself once again that he was intact. There had been an ache radiating out from the center of his chest since he’d woken up from the fever, but that _had_ to be in his mind.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked. He was standing in front of Kylo with his arms crossed over his chest and an annoyed look on his face. “Shouldn’t you be meditating.”

“Probably,” Kylo admitted. He _should_ be meditating on his vision and trying to seek answers. He needed to figure out what the Force was trying to tell him and what it meant for his future. But his brain felt like it was a raw wound and he couldn’t stomach the idea of reliving anything. At least not yet.

He didn’t tell Hux any of that, though. Instead he sat down in the pilot’s seat and turned it all the way around so that he could watch Hux work.

Hux huffed and handed Kylo their small toolkit. “Fine. But if you’re going to stay in here you can make yourself useful and pass me tools when I ask for them.”

Kylo took the tools and decided not to comment on Hux’s presumption to order him around. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

Hux set to work immediately. He was doing a good job and Kylo had to admit it was better than he could have done. Chewie had taught him the basics of ship mechanics when he was young, but they hadn’t gotten very far before he’d been sent to train with Luke.

He hadn’t been very good at it anyway. There was a patience required that he hadn’t had at six. He probably still didn’t have it. Kylo could meditate for days if necessary, but spending any length of time looking at wires and control panels had never been a priority. He’d never seen the purpose when he had more important things to do—like train with the Force and learn to fight.

Flying ships was another story. He loved being in the pilot seat. It made him feel powerful and in control.

Hux on the other hand was in his element. He’d stripped down to his undershirt and dove straight into the tangle of exposed wires. Every so often he would ask for a tool and Kylo would float it to him with the Force. It was a wasteful use of power, but it was also reassuring to feel the Force respond to him like usual after his ordeal.

“How much longer until we can leave?” Kylo asked. They had barely spoken to each other over the last several days, but Kylo was desperate to avoid his own thoughts and Hux was a welcome distraction.

Hux finished tightening a bolt and turned around to look at Kylo. His normally fair complexion was red from the heat and his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat. Kylo determinedly kept his eyes on Hux’s face so he wouldn’t see the way the humid conditions were making his shirt cling to his lean muscles.

Kylo had never stopped being attracted to Hux, but had managed to repress it over the years. He’d rarely thought about their time together and had kept his mind fully focused on his own goals. After all, Hux had just been an experiment of sorts.

Snoke had encouraged the fling—as long as that was all it was. He’d always approved of Kylo indulging in his more tumultuous emotions and lust was just as all consuming as rage. His former master hadn’t been like the Jedi who had renounced all sexual contact, but he _had_ demanded that Kylo renounce all attachment.

It hadn’t taken long for Kylo to realize that it would be nearly impossible to avoid attachment when having a sexual relationship and he’d immediately ended their arrangement. He’d forsaken the pleasures of the flesh ever since. It was just easier that way.

Snoke had been amused years later when Kylo and Hux stood in front of him side by side as unwilling allies. He’d enjoyed poking at Kylo’s mind, looking for any residual affection he might have for Hux, but hadn’t found anything. Kylo had locked that part of himself away so deep, even he had forgotten about it.

Until now.

“The life support will be finished today. After that I just need to make sure the hyperdrive is in good enough shape to manage a jump.” Hux sat down in the copilot seat and took a long drink from his canteen. “We’ll need to figure out where we’re going. Any suggestions?”

Kylo didn’t have to analyze his vision in depth to know where they needed to go. If the past was determined to have it’s say there was only one option. “Tatooine.”

Hux frowned and pulled up the ship’s database. “It’s definitely the sort of place we could disappear for a while.” He looked up at Kylo, his eyes sharp. “But there are any number of lawless planets in the Outer Rim that are beyond the New Republic’s reach. Why there?”

Kylo wasn’t used to this new Hux. He was still sarcastic and mouthed off, but the bitter edge had been gone since he’d saved Kylo’s life. He was being downright agreeable and that more than anything was messing with Kylo’s emotions. It also made him decide to actually share his thoughts with Hux.

“My grandfather was born there,” Kylo explained. “And my uncle was raised there.”

Hux closed his eyes and Kylo had the impression he was counting to ten. “Those are two very good reasons _not_ to go there. Your obsession with Darth Vader and the rest of your cursed family led the Order to it’s ruin. Are you so determined to destroy what’s left?”

“You don’t have to stay,” Kylo pointed out. “I’m sure you can find a ship to another planet in the space port.”

Hux shook his head and squared his shoulders like he always did when he was feigning confidence. “No. Anyone who realizes who we are won’t hesitate to hand us over to the New Republic. It’ll be safer if we stick together.”

“This isn’t like before,” Kylo said, trying to reassure himself as much as Hux. His previous forays into his past had ended badly and it would be easier to avoid it. The Force, however seemed to have other ideas. “I’m just looking for answers. That’s all.”

“Very well. Tatooine it is,” Hux said, in a clipped voice that made his disapproval clear.

He stood up to go back to work when a boom of thunder sounded overhead. It was loud enough that the ship vibrated around them.

Hux leaned over the control panels to get a better look at the sky. “It’s getting dark out there.”

Kylo closed his eyes and reached his mind out to the Force. The air was full of destructive possibility and he could feel the animals burrowing deep into their dens to avoid the coming storm. He didn’t have to reach his mind into the future to know that what was coming was going to be bad.

“Do we have any supplies here?”

“Just lunch,” Hux answered.

“Then we need to leave now,” Kylo said, standing up. He was concerned that their shelter wouldn’t be able to stand up to the storms that were coming, but staying in the shuttle without any supplies was a worse option. If he had to he could use the Force to reinforce the makeshift camp.

Thankfully, Hux didn’t argue with him.

Another crack of thunder sounded—this time even louder—as they rushed out of the ship and ran in the direction of their camp. It was a difficult run through the swamp with the increasingly powerful wind, and they only made it halfway there before the skies opened up. The rain came down in pounding sheets making it hard to see in front of them and turning the already muddy ground into a nearly impassible quagmire.

Kylo was forced to slow down and slog his way forward. His robes were soaked through and heavy, dragging behind him. He turned around to check on Hux, and saw that he wasn’t fairing much better. His Order uniform was made of a water resistant heavy fabric, but it was no match for a downpour like this and despite his belt Hux was having to hold his soaked pants up around his waist.

Kylo slowed a bit more so that Hux wouldn’t fall too far behind and reached out with the Force. The storm was close enough that lightning was streaking through the sky nonstop. He wanted to be ready to stop a bolt if he had to. He’d never tried to deflect lightning with the Force, but he imagined it would be similar to a blaster bolt. Believing he could do it was the important part anyway.

“Ren!” Hux called out. “I can’t see anything.”

The midday sun was completely lost behind the roiling clouds and the sheets of rain leaving the lightning as their only light source. Kylo stopped and turned around, squinting through the rain. He used the Force to augment his sight and saw that Hux was stopped several feet back and nearly off of the trail. If he moved just a little to the right he’d be in the marsh.

Instead of trying to shout over the pounding rain, Kylo took a few steps back. He was still a few feet from Hux when he felt the hair raise on his arms as the air electrified. Depending entirely on his instincts, Kylo threw up his hand and demanded the lightning to stop.

A bolt of lightning, too bright to look at, froze in place, hovering just over Hux’s head. It would have struck him directly if Kylo hadn’t intervened. Kylo took a deep breath and flung his arm to the side. The lightning changed direction and hit a tree a few yards away, leaving nothing but a smoldering stump behind.

Hux stared in shock at the burning tree, his mouth hanging open. “That was… you just….”

Kylo closed the distance between them and grabbed Hux’s hand, yanking him in the direction of their camp. “We don’t have time for this. Come on.”

He ran, pulling Hux along behind him, and used the Force to guide the way. It was still slow going through the wind and rain, but he didn’t have to stop any more lightning bolts.

Thankfully their shelter was still standing, although the tents that Hux had used to create a makeshift roof were flapping wildly in the wind. He dropped Hux’s hand and used the Force to hold them securely in place.

Feeling almost giddy with the power of the storm coursing around him and through him, he used the Force to turn on their portable lantern too. He was able to divide his attention between several different things without feeling the weariness that had been plaguing him since he’d lost his hand. It was like his success with the lightning bolt had wiped away his lingering uncertainty about his own power after his latest confrontation with Rey.

In fact, he felt even more powerful. Like he could do anything.

“We need to get out of these wet clothes,” Hux said. It was the sort of practical thing that Kylo was used to hearing from Hux, but there was something different about his voice. Kylo turned to look at him, only to find him already stripped down to his boxers and standing very close.

“You stopped a fucking lightning bolt,” Hux said his voice shaky. There were conflicting emotions radiating off of him, but Kylo could hear the unspoken “for me” projected loud and clear.

He lunged forward and pressed a hard kiss to Kylo’s lips.

Kylo hadn’t been kissed in nearly a decade—not since the night he’d broken it off with Hux—but every action was familiar to him. Without letting himself consider the repercussions, he returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around Hux’s waist, pulling him closer so that there was no space between them.

Hux scrabbled at Kylo’s clothes and he moved back just long enough to help strip off his robe and pants. They left their clothes in a wet pile and stumbled awkwardly to the bedrolls, neither wanting to break contact.

Kylo pushed Hux down onto the blankets and immediately climbed on top of him, capturing his mouth in another bruising kiss. Hux wrapped his legs around Kylo’s waist and rolled his hips, grinding their rapidly hardening dicks together. And for the first time in years, Kylo embraced the pleasure of his own body instead of ruthlessly suppressing his physical desires. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally starting to heat up. *grin*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brings us past the halfway point. I hope you all are still enjoying this ride with me.

Hux woke up to the sound of the storm still raging. He didn’t know how long he’d slept. It had only been midday when the storm hit, and he couldn’t tell by the light what time of day it was now. He was alone in bed which was a relief because the whole situation was awkward enough without waking up next to a naked Ren.

Ren was sitting against the nearby wall, completely naked, meditating. His eyes were closed, but Hux was certain he was still aware of everything happening around him.

Hux stifled a sigh and stood up, refusing to give into the urge to cover his own nudity. He didn’t have any dry clothes and it wasn’t like Ren hadn’t seen it all before anyway.

Their wet clothes were still in a pile by the entrance, a sordid reminder of his desperation that Hux could have done without. Of course it was too much to hope that Ren would ever take responsibility for anything practical. Hux did have to—reluctantly—give him credit when it came to fighting dinosaurs and stopping lightning, but it would be nice if he would clean up after himself for once.

Ren _had_ saved Hux’s life last night, though, so he swallowed his irritation and began wringing out their clothes. Ren’s robes were a nightmare—the hem was heavy with mud—but he managed to get most of it off before hanging them near the hearth. He started a fire, relieved that he had stocked up on wood before the storm. He doubted anything would be dry enough to burn for days.

“Thank you,” Ren said, his eyes still closed.

Hux nodded his head sharply, still not used to Ren thanking him for anything. Apparently getting laid had done wonders for his mood. Hux wished he could say the same.

Since he had to be naked he took the opportunity to wash himself as thoroughly as he could, using the antiseptic soap that had been included in their survival supplies. He normally used as little soap as possible and gave himself a quick scrub, but this time he indulged in his desire to feel clean—and to rid himself of the dried come that was decorating his belly and groin.  

He felt more in control once he’d removed the evidence of his indiscretion, and to avoid thinking about his ill-conceived actions any further he did what he always did—he worked. He started making dinner, using the last of their hot meal rations—this one was a stew made of imitation red meat and a few mushy vegetables—that he augmented with local tubers that Ren swore were edible.

They still had some jerky and hard biscuits left, but they needed to get off of this planet soon. They could live off of the local flora and fauna, but without a conservator they would be stuck spending most of their time hunting and gathering. He’d prefer to avoid that.

The rain was still going strong by the time he had dinner ready, although thankfully the thunder and lightning had stopped. He separated the bedrolls enough to set the pot with the stew between them. He sat down on his own bedroll and used the blanket to cover his lap. There was only so much casual nudity he could take and during dinner was a step too far for his dignity.

Ren stood up smoothly without Hux having to say a word and sat down next to him instead of on the other side of the pot like Hux had intended. Ren didn’t bother covering up and Hux was irritated at himself for finding Ren’s nudity very distracting. Hux hoped he spilled hot stew on his dick.

“What are we looking for on Tatooine?” Hux asked to fill the silence. He’d thought the quiet between them had been awkward before, but it was much worse now. Not that Ren seemed to notice.

“I’ll know it when I feel it,” Ren answered. It was a genuine answer, not his usual dismissive conversation ender, but in some ways that made it worse. If this was Ren being helpful, Hux was in more trouble than he’d thought.

“And after you find whatever it is you’re looking for?” Hux asked. He ate a few bites of the stew, idly wondering if eating it could be used in an enhanced interrogation to break a prisoner’s will. “We need a long term plan. What about the other Knights? Could we call on them for help?”

Ren paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth. He quickly collected himself, set his spoon down, and then answered dispassionately. “They’re all dead. I’m the only one that survived Snoke’s… tutelage.”

Ren wasn’t fooling anyone, he was clearly upset by what had befallen the other Knights of Ren. Hux didn’t have a very good grasp of the Knights. There were a lot of rumors about them, but no one really knew who they were or what they’d done. The only thing Hux did know was that Ren had been their leader.

He understood what it meant to lose the men under your command—the failure and guilt that came with being the one in charge.

Unsure of how to respond, Hux shifted just enough so that his blanket covered leg pressed against Ren’s. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d offered comfort to anyone, but the long dormant instinct came more naturally than he would have expected.

Ren didn’t respond to the touch, but he didn’t move away either which spoke volumes.

“We’ll make a plan once we get to Tatooine,” Ren said. “Assuming you can live with the unknown for that long.”

If Hux didn’t know better, he’d almost think Ren was teasing him.

**

“Is it ready?” Ren asked. He leaned over Hux’s shoulder, close enough that Hux could feel the heat from his body and smell the musky odor that was impossible to avoid when living rough on a humid swamp planet. Hux wished he didn’t like it so much.

“As ready as I can make it.” Hux ruthlessly shoved down his unwelcome hormonal reactions to Ren’s proximity and focused on the task at hand. He was an expert at compartmentalizing away his personal life and focusing on the mission at hand. For years his focus had been entirely on the Order and now it was devoted to getting off of this planet. He’d have to find a new mission once they got to Tatooine.

He keyed in the coordinates for Tatooine, relieved that it would be a relatively short jump. The fuel supply on these small shuttles wasn’t meant for a long trip. Escape shuttles were supposed to get any survivors to the closest habitable system. They’d been lucky the Reckoning had shuttles and not pods which didn’t have hyperdrives at all.

Ren sat down in the pilot’s seat. Without the asteroid field to navigate, Hux could have gotten them to their destination, but he had no issue leaving it to Ren. A good leader delegated and Ren really was the better pilot.

The control panel blinked, wanting him to confirm the coordinates. Hux hesitated. He didn’t want to admit his uncertainty, but it was important that Ren had all of the information. “I can’t guarantee the repairs to the life support systems will hold during the jump.”

Ren closed his eyes the way he did when he communed with the Force. “It’ll hold. And if not I’ll handle it.”

Ren seemed confident enough in his ability to magically maintain the life support systems in the event of a disaster that even Hux was hard pressed to doubt him. The lightning storm had completely changed his outlook on Ren’s abilities. He confirmed the coordinates and nodded at Ren. “Okay.”

Ren raised an eyebrow. “No smart remark?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Trust me, my unexpected confidence in you is just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you.”

The corner of Ren’s mouth quirked up and Hux realized it was the closest to a smile he’d ever seen on his face.

Ren dropped his attention back to the control panel and engaged the engines. The repairs on the life support systems held as he carefully guided them out of the atmosphere and into space. Once he’d cleared the gravitational pull of Dagobah, Ren paused with his hand over the lever that would engage the hyperdrive. “Ready?”

Hux took a deep breath and gave a sharp nod. “Next stop Tatooine.”

**

 

Hux sat on the edge of the narrow bed, his eyes fixed on the door. Ren had been gone for an hour and Hux was starting to wonder if he would even come back at all. If he hadn’t stood out like a sore thumb in his First Order uniform, he would have never agreed to stay behind.

Unfortunately he _was_ stuck in the uniform and on top of that his face had been broadcast all over the Galaxy. Without Ren’s use of the Force he’d have never been able to get this far. It was a disheartening feeling.

Ren had used the Force to get them a room above one of the many cantinas in Mos Eisley. It was the sort of place that Hux was fairly certain was usually rented by the hour for illicit liaisons. It was small and filthy, consisting of little more than the bed and a single chair in the corner. There was a small refresher with a working sonic shower, though. That made it infinitely better than the half collapsed mud hut on the swamp planet that they’d just left.

The door creaked—it was actually an old fashioned door on hinges—and Hux trained his blaster on the entrance, but lowered it when Ren swept in, his hood pulled low over his face. “What took you so long?”

Ren threw a large bag at him. “Finding hair dye wasn’t easy.”

Hux emptied the bag, relieved to see two sets of nondescript clothes in the white and beige that was common here. They were made of a flowing, light cloth that would hopefully make the heat born of dual suns more bearable. Also in his bag was were some undergarments, a few basic toiletry items and the hair dye that he’d asked for.

“I’m taking a shower,” Ren said. He dumped a second bag on the chair and closed himself into the refresher.

Hux sighed. He’d been looking forward to being truly clean for once, but he could wait a few more minutes. He used the time to take stock of the toiletries Ren had gotten him and read the instructions on the dye. The last thing he wanted was blond hair, but it would be less ridiculous with his complexion than going dark would be.

Ren came out of the refresher completely naked and Hux picked up the dye again. He pretended he was studying the instructions and not staring at Ren’s well sculpted chest. For a man who had completely covered himself for years behind his robes and a mask, he certainly had no problem baring everything now. The complete lack of shame was strange to Hux. It wasn’t that he had a problem with his own body, but he didn’t flaunt it either. Not even in front of lovers—not that there had been many lovers. He’d always been married to the Order, completely focused on it to the exclusion of everything else.

Thankfully Ren didn’t waste any time pulling on a pair of dark brown trousers and a matching tunic.

“I’m surprised it's not black,” Hux commented.

“A predictable disguise defeats the purpose.”

Hux decided not to point out that the difference between dark brown and black was negligible. Instead he took his toiletries and a change of clothes into the refresher.

It didn’t take him long to clean himself, since unlike a water shower there was no benefit to standing under the sonics for longer than necessary. Hot water worked wonders on sore muscles, but sonics merely removed dirt. If there was one thing he missed about Arkanis it was the water showers. The planet was rich in water and water showers were the norm instead of an expensive luxury.  

When he was done, Hux awkwardly got dressed in the small space. The clothes fit well, although he felt odd wearing something other than his uniform. Over the years it had become a part of him, displaying his authority and his allegiance to the world. Now he was stripped of that—of everything.

He leaned over the small sink and looked at his face in the mirror. He looked tired and gaunt, but he still didn’t have any facial hair to speak of. The Depil cream the Order distributed did its job very well. He wondered how long it would take for his beard to grow in after more than a decade of using the stuff. A beard would aid his disguise, but it would also be harder to dye than his hair.

He exited the refresher and sat back down on the bed. The last thing he wanted to do was dye his hair, removing that last remnant of General Hux of the First Order and replacing it with Armitage Hux, man on the run, but he didn’t have a choice. If there was one thing he’d always excelled at it was doing what was necessary. “Did you get water for the dye?”

Ren pulled a jug of water out of his bag.

“I’m going to need your help,” Hux said. He hated asking for help, but he couldn’t see the back of his head and the last thing he needed was red streaks in the blond.

Ren stood up and pulled the chair out from the wall. “Sit there and take off your shirt. Getting dye on it would be a dead give away.”

Hux hated it when Ren treated him like he was stupid, but he took a deep, calming breath and did as he was told. He handed Ren the dye. “Remember I’m cutting your hair after this. So don’t screw it up.”

“Or what?” Ren asked mildly.

“Or you’ll find yourself short one ear,” Hux snapped.

Ren rolled his eyes and shook the dye at Hux. “And threatening me now is a good idea?”

Hux glared at Ren, but kept his mouth shut while Ren applied the dye. He only used his organic hand, but he was thorough, methodically coating every section of hair and making sure to rub it into the roots. The dye was cheap and the harsh chemicals burned the sensitive skin of his scalp, but Hux ignored it the same way he’d always ignored physical pain.

Once Ren was done applying the dye, he took a seat on the bed while they waited until it could be rinsed out.

“Were you able to sell the shuttle?” Hux asked, to fill the silence.

“I sold it to a scrapper,” Ren answered. “And encouraged him to dismantle it as fast as possible.”

He glanced at Ren and waggled his fingers as a short hand for the Force. “Did you make him forget you?”

Ren gave him a sour look. “Not by waving my fingers like an idiot.”

Hux shrugged. “For a mystical mental power you use your hands a lot.”

Ren sighed and Hux had to suppress a smile. He knew he was being difficult, but he was purposely testing Ren, trying to figure out where the new lines were drawn. A few months ago he’d have gotten a much different reaction out of Ren. He preferred this one, but he didn’t trust it.

“It’s time,” Ren said.

Hux went into the refresher and leaned over the sink while Ren carefully poured the water over his head, rinsing the dye out. There wasn’t really enough space for both of them, but they made it work. When they were out of water he looked at himself in the mirror again. It was hard to tell a difference while his hair was still wet, but hopefully it would be enough to help him go unnoticed.

Tatooine may be a lawless planet in the Outer Rim, but it was a haven for bounty hunters who made a living off of the criminals passing through the space ports. He’d seen several holoposters featuring fugitives wanted by the New Republic on their way into the city. They’d cycled through various people, many that he recognized as officers from the Order. He’d been heartened to see that so many of them were still free, but that feeling had quickly vanished when he’d seen his image pop up on one of them.

He’d stopped in shock, staring at it gobsmacked, until Ren had grabbed his arm and hauled him away from it.

Hux pointed at the chair and took a small pair of scissors out of his new toiletry kit. “It’s your turn.”

He didn’t have any experience cutting hair. Human barbers had long ago been replaced by droids and he’d never even thought about using regular scissors for anything at all, let alone hair, but he’d give it his best go.

Ren didn’t seem concerned, sitting down with his back to Hux.

“Is there a reason you keep it long?” Hux asked as he pulled Ren’s hair back and started trimming the ends. He figured it was safer to take a little at a time in case he screwed something up.

Ren didn’t say anything for several minutes and Hux assumed he wasn’t going to answer, when he finally spoke up. “I don’t like my ears.”

It was such an unexpected admission that Hux paused mid-snip. Ren did have rather large ears that stuck out, but Hux had never thought twice about them. It would be so easy to use this newly revealed insecurity against Ren, teasing him, but Hux held his tongue. It was only a few days ago that Ren refused to answer important questions, let alone frivolous ones. He didn’t want to risk going back to that.

“I always gelled my hair to keep it from falling into my eyes,” Hux said, feeling like he owed something to Ren now. “I like everything neatly in it’s place and that includes my hair.”

“I like your hair better without the crap in it.”

“Well lucky for you I can’t wear it the old way for fear of looking just like the holoposters,” Hux muttered. “You didn’t happen to run across your image anywhere did you?”

“I doubt there is one,” Ren said. “My mother isn’t stupid enough to send ordinary bounty hunters after me.”

“The girl then?” Hux asked. “She’ll be looking for you.”

“Probably,” Ren agreed. “She’s the only one they can send, but I’m sure my mother’s spies are on the look out as well.”

Hux frowned. He didn’t know if that made it more or less stupid to stay with Ren. Ren would be protection against the ordinary bounty hunters, but he may draw Rey and General Organa right to them. Of course by staying with Hux, Ren was putting a larger target on his own back. Killing a few bounty hunters with a lightsaber would draw attention.

It didn’t really matter though. He’d already decided to stick with Ren for good or ill. He just hoped he didn’t end up regretting it.

“There.” Hux walked around Ren making sure his hair looked symmetrical. The cut wasn’t stylish, but his attention to detail had at least made it even. “Go see what you think.”

Ren stood up and looked at his reflection in the refresher mirror. He reached up and touched the edges which fell just above his ears. “I look like a youngling.”

The cut did make Ren look younger, but by no means child-like. Hux had to assume that as a child Ren had had a similar haircut, making him associate it with being a youngling. “You look old enough. I’m going to try to get a few hours of sleep before we need to head out tomorrow.”

Ren didn’t say anything, his eyes fixed on the mirror and a haunted expression on his face.

**

Kylo pulled his hood over his face, hiding as much of his scar as he could. Short of make-up there wasn’t a way to actually disguise it. He could encourage people not to notice it with the Force, but in the crowded streets of Mos Eisley it was impossible to influence everyone who saw him.

The robe helped, though, allowing him to cover most of his face in the shadow of it’s hood. He just hated the color. Brown was too reminiscent of the Jedi.

He couldn’t wait to get out of Mos Eisley. The whole place made him uncomfortable. There were too many people and too much chaos, but he could have dealt with all of that that if it wasn’t for the unexpectedly familiar echo in the Force he’d felt near one of the cantinas.

He’d been prepared to follow Luke’s imprint on this quest he’d set for himself, but what he’d sensed near that cantina was unexpected and actually distressing. Enough so that he’d given the whole area a wide berth, wanting nothing to do with it.

“Is that everything?” he asked Hux.

He’d augmented the credits he’d gotten from the sale of their shuttle with more than a little Force persuasion to get them a speeder, a vaporator, and enough supplies to last them a few weeks in the desert. He hadn’t bothered negotiating, pressing everyone to give them the items quickly and to forget them as soon as they left.

Hux checked their list on the small datapad they’d picked up that morning. “Looks like it. Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

Hux let out a heavy sigh, but Kylo ignored it. He could sense Hux’s frustration, but now that he was more centered he was able to block out  specific thoughts. It helped that for the first time in almost a decade Hux wasn’t truly angry with him. Over the last few days he’d gone from mentally shouting at Kylo to merely muttering.

He got behind the wheel of the speeder and closed his eyes, trying to sort through all of the threads of life that had passed through this place over the decades until he found the one he was looking for. Tatooine wasn’t as strong in the Force as Dagobah and when Luke had lived here he’d been untrained in the ways of the Force, but after years spent under his tutelage Kylo could still find his unique signature. Luke’s life had blazed a trail in the Force and given enough time Kylo could probably follow it all the way across the Galaxy.

He hated to admit it, but his uncle had been important.

As he drove south out of the city, leaving the chaotic tangle of lives behind, he realized that there was another powerful echo intertwined with Luke’s. It was strong in the Light, similar to the energy he’d sensed from Yoda on Dagobah. Luke had often told Kylo stories of his namesake, the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi who had gone by Ben at times, and he assumed the imprint must be his.

He tightened his hands on the controls, enough that the metal joints in his prosthetic arm creaked. He didn’t like thinking of himself as Ben. The name hadn’t fit him in a long time.

“Who thought it would be a good idea to colonize a planet with two suns?” Hux asked, distracting Kylo from the latest unwelcome reminder of his past that the Force seemed to be throwing at him.

Kylo glanced over and saw that Hux was trying to shade his face from the sun, but it was already too late. His pale skin was turning red with sunburn, even though they’d only been outside a short time.

“Miners,” Kylo answered. “There’s sunscreen and glareshades in the small bag.”

“It’s too late now,” Hux muttered, but he got the lotion out and slathered it onto all of his exposed skin anyway. “I haven’t had a sunburn since I was a teenager.” He offered the bottle to Kylo. “You’re pale too.”

“Not as bad as you,” Kylo said. He pulled the hood of his robe farther forward. “I’m fine.”

Hux shrugged and settled back into the passenger seat. Between the blond hair, white clothes, and glareshades he was nearly unrecognizable. It was a good thing that he looked nothing like the holoposters, but Kylo found himself missing the old Hux. It was an unforgivably sentimental thought that he blamed on having sex, but he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to stop the growing attachment the way he had in the past. Besides he and Hux were stuck together for now and he might as well make the best of it.

The journey was a long one, but thankfully uneventful. He could clearly remember Luke visiting him when he was very young and telling him lively stories of Tusken Raiders who made a sport of shooting at passing vehicles, but they didn’t encounter any.

The path was old and faint, but he had no trouble following it as it took them through the small city of Anchorhead and then on to an isolated stretch of desert where they found an abandoned moisture farm. He parked the speeder in front of a severely burned dome which was the only visible structure.

“What happened here?” Hux asked as he got out of the speeder and stretched his arms up toward the sky.

Kylo couldn’t stop himself from following the movement with his eyes, but pushed the smoldering arousal aside to answer the question. “War.”

Luke had, of course, told him what exactly had happened to his aunt and uncle, but Kylo had never understood Luke’s grief. The incident had clearly catapulted Luke onto a path to great power instead of the mundane life he’d been willing to accept prior to his loss. It seemed like a fair trade.

Kylo stalked toward the structure, his lightsaber in hand even though he didn’t sense anyone nearby. The dome was the entrance to a much more extensive living space underground and he was pleased to see that while the entire complex had been thoroughly gutted by both the fire and scavengers, it was still structurally sound.

He could feel remnants of fear and the pain of death lingering around the building and he was willing to bet that even people with no Force sensitivity would have felt uncomfortable here. It was probably why no one had bothered to rebuild.

“It’s better than a mud hut,” Hux said from behind him. “I assume you’re planning to stay here?”

Kylo nodded.

Hux stepped forward and surveyed the complex. “We’d be best served by limiting ourselves to a few rooms and closing off the others.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “I wonder if I can get the kitchen and refresher working well enough to use?”

Kylo couldn't care less about their shelter. They’d managed on Dagobah where they’d had significantly fewer supplies. He could withstand discomfort, but if Hux wanted to entertain himself with the work then Kylo wouldn’t discourage him.

“Do what you want. I’m going to find a place to meditate.”

Hux frowned at him, but Kylo left the room before he had a chance to argue. The moment he’d gotten near the building he’d felt something strange in the Force. The faintest whisper of something that seemed almost familiar was tugging at his mind and he wanted to investigate it.

Kylo followed the whisper through the compound until he found a room that must have served as a workshop in the past. The sensation was strongest here so he sat down with his back against one of the walls and closed his eyes.

Once he reached a deep meditative state, he sunk into the Force and focused on the thread he’d been sensing, trying to parse out why it was familiar. It was old—older than Luke’s imprint—but he could tell that the person must have been strong in the Force.

He could sense a great conflict, a struggle between Light and Dark that was as familiar to him as his own face. The echo still had Light in it, but there was Dark too, threading through it and beginning to tip the balance.

It was the Dark part that was familiar to him and as he focused on it he realized where he’d sensed it before. He hadn’t recognized it at first, because his grandfather must have been much younger—younger even than Kylo was now—and not yet fully embracing the Dark Side when he’d visited the farm, but the echo was too similar to the one that clung to Darth Vader’s helmet to be anyone else.

It had been some time since he’d given much thought to Vader. For years he’d been driven by the desire to fulfill his grandfather’s destiny and purge the Jedi from the Galaxy. He’d trained and fought in hopes that someday he would live up to Vader’s legacy. It had been his singular purpose before Rey had distracted him from his path.

He’d finally set those childish dreams aside when Snoke had taunted him into becoming his own man instead of continuing to live in Vader’s shadow. By doing so Kylo had risen to the height of Supreme Leader, but he’d fallen just as quickly.

Perhaps that fall and all that came after had been punishment for losing track of his original purpose and placing himself before his mission. After all, the Force must have brought him to this place with a connection to his grandfather for a reason. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all the people reading. Those of you who have commented or left kudos have seriously brightened up my life. :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter Kylo proved his questionable decision making skills by revisiting his Vader obsession. Is he ever going to get it together? *shakes head* He's an idiot, but I do love him. 
> 
> Once again thanks to shadynaiad for betaing!

Hux hauled in the last of their bags from the speeder and set to work making the burned out shell of a building into a functioning shelter. It was just like Ren to run off and leave him with all of the actual work. Hux honestly didn’t know what Ren would do without him around. Probably starve to death because he was too busy meditating to bother with food.

At least this time Hux had more than a crumbling mud hut and a makeshift broom to work with. The first thing he did was clear out the debris from the main living space, the kitchen, and the refresher. They hadn’t picked up any proper cleaning supplies so he couldn’t remove the soot or sanitize the space the way he’d like to, but he did the best he could.

After that he laid out their new bedrolls—they were much nicer, with an actual pad to make sleeping on the hard floor less miserable—and stored their supplies away in the kitchen. Some of the shelving was still intact, making it easy to organize everything.

Once he’d completed the basics, he took out the new, much larger tool kit that they’d picked up in Mos Eisley and set to work fixing the sonic shower. He hadn’t managed to convince Ren to invest in a droid—even after he’d promised to disable anything even resembling a personality—but at least Ren hadn’t argued about the top of the line tool kit.

It had been years since he’d done this much mechanical work, but most of it came back to him quickly. There had always been something very soothing about identifying a problem, finding the right tool, and fixing it.

If only his life could be fixed as easily as the shower.

They were lucky that the tech used in sonic showers was pretty basic so no one had thought it worth stealing. Most of what he had to do was clean out decades of corrosion and replace a few pieces that hadn’t managed to survive the years of disuse.

Once he had it back in working order, he tested it on himself. Even though the sonics were gentler on his sunburn than water would be, by the time he got out his skin was tight and painful. He’d had several sunburns on Arkanis, but they’d been easily dealt with by using a common medical ointment. An ointment that unfortunately their medical kit did not have—why a desert planet with two suns didn’t think it was a worthy addition he didn’t know. Instead, he made do by dabbing a small amount of their bacta onto his blistering forehead and nose.

Feeling rather accomplished, he went into the kitchen to make dinner. He wasn’t a very good cook, but at least their food options were better than they’d been on Dagobah. They’d gotten cheap food that wouldn’t spoil, but it was still leaps and bounds above the First Order’s emergency rations.

He was studying the area he’d designated as the pantry, trying to decide what to make when he heard Ren behind him. It was a testament to the amount of time they’d spent together that not only could recognize Ren by his gait, but that he felt comfortable enough not to turn around.

What he didn’t expect, though, was for Ren to slide his good arm around his waist and lean in to kiss to the side of his neck.

He went rigid in Ren’s embrace. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Ren was as oblivious as ever as he pressed a kiss to Hux’s pulse point. “What do you think?”

Hux pulled away, spinning out of Ren’s reach. “You presume too much.”

Ren frowned. “I know you enjoyed yourself and the release assisted with my meditation. I don’t see why you’re being difficult.”

Hux realized in that moment that he’d allowed himself to grow complacent. He’d begun to soften toward Ren and the last time that had happened he’d been treated to years of antipathy and abuse. Apparently it wasn’t enough for him to be Ren’s personal housekeeping droid, he was also now his stress reliever—nothing like a spot of sex to make the meditation easier.

“And if I don’t let you fuck me? What then?” Hux challenged. “Will you throw me into a wall? Or maybe choke me into submission. You liked that one didn’t you?”

Ren jerked back as if he’d been slapped, but a mask of anger quickly covered his shock. “Only if you try to kill me in my sleep. Again.”

Ren tightened his hands into fists and Hux prepared himself for the worst, but the expected choke never came. Instead Ren merely said, “Playing the victim doesn’t suit you.”

Ren spun on his heel and stomped out of the room. Hux waited until he was out of sight to collapse back against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs and pressed his face to his knees. The position made him feel like a child, hiding in the corner of his room after one of his father’s punishments.

He hated that he’d been reduced to acting like that weak child he’d done his best to bury, but he needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

He raised his hand to his neck where he could still feel the phantom brush of Ren’s lips against his skin. Hux had been poking and prodding at Ren for a while now, testing the tentative peace between them. If he was honest, he’d been trying to provoke Ren for years, because anger was better than the indifferent disdain. Anger was at least an acknowledgement.

He hadn’t actually wanted this fight though, the words had just slipped out in response to Ren’s presumption and he’d truly thought that this time he’d finally gone too far. He had been sure that Ren would lash out physically, but he hadn’t. Instead he’d reminded Hux that they were _both_ awful people. After all, he _had_ seriously considered killing Ren and probably would have if Ren hadn’t woken up when he had.

The part that kept playing over and over in his head though was the hurt he’d seen on Ren’s face before he’d let his rage take over. He’d never been able to hurt Ren before—and he’d certainly tried over the years—which said more about Ren’s regard for him now than his words had.

Deciding he’d wallowed enough, Hux stood up and returned to his appraisal of the pantry. He hadn’t risen to the rank of general by cowering in the corner. Ren could think what he liked, Hux was _not_ a victim.

Any desire to cook a proper dinner had fled in the face of his confrontation with Ren, but they still had to eat so Hux took out two ration packs. Ration packs varied from planet to planet, but no matter where you were they provided quick and easy nutrition. The ones that they’d found in Mos Eisley only need a few drops of water to rise into a filling bread.

Hux ate his piece of bread, mechanically chewing and swallowing even though he wasn’t actually hungry. He’d learned a long time ago that he had to eat regularly no matter what. Once he was done with his own dinner he put Ren’s bread on a plate and added a few pieces of dehydrated fruit.

Girding himself for another fight, Hux took the food and went looking for Ren, checking each room until he finally found him sitting in his usual meditation pose in the back of an old workshop. There was a scorched smell in the air and new burn marks on the wall in the shape of lightsaber slashes. Ren was lucky that the walls were so thick or he would have brought the ceiling down on his head during his temper tantrum.

It was the first time since they’d fled the Reckoning together that Ren had given into his destructive impulses and it wasn’t lost on Hux that he’d waited until he was alone to let out that rage. Maybe he really was trying.

Ren didn’t acknowledge his presence although he did straighten up fractionally, his muscles tensing. Hux crossed the room and put the plate of food next to him.

When Ren didn’t move, Hux sighed. “You should eat.”

Hux watched him for a moment before giving up and leaving. He’d made his offering of food which was as close to an apology as Ren was going to get. He wasn’t about to prostrate himself when he hadn’t been wrong or at least not entirely wrong. Ren was no angel in this.

He turned back when he got to the hall and saw that Ren had picked up the bread with his mechanical hand. His fingers jerked involuntarily part way to his mouth, causing the bread to crumble into pieces.

Ren must have felt Hux’s eyes on him, because he quickly lifted his good hand and the door to the room slammed in Hux’s face.

“Bastard,” Hux muttered. It wasn’t his fault that Ren’s arm barely functioned. He’d offered to do what he could to fix it on Dagobah and Ren hadn’t even let him look at it. It served him right.

Hux stomped down the hall, prepared to ignore Ren right back, but the more he thought about it the more the whole situation irritated him. Ren was acting like a teenager and he was letting Ren drag him down into that adolescent mindset.

During the past few months he’d been forced to obey Ren’s whims for fear of violent reprisal. He had done as bidden in order to survive and he’d hated every minute of it.

No longer. He and Ren were going to come to an agreement even if it killed him.

 

**

 

Kylo looked up in surprise as the door to the workshop flew open and Hux marched in carrying his toolbox. “What are you—”

“Shut up,” Hux snapped. He sat down next to Kylo and opened the toolkit. “Let me see your arm.”

Kylo couldn’t remember the last time someone other than Snoke had ordered him around so boldly and it threw him. Hux had always challenged him, but there had been a cautious line that he’d never crossed. Well, at least he hadn’t crossed it until that day in Snoke’s throne room when he’d not only considered killing Kylo, but also objected so strenuously to his leadership.

This time instead of exerting his will on Hux like he had then, he wordlessly extended his mechanical arm.

Hux scooted closer and roughly positioned Kylo’s arm so that it was resting on his leg. As soon as he had it in place he began scanning it with one of the diagnostic tools from the kit.

“I’m going to say this exactly once and I trust that you can read the truth of it,” Hux said brusquely, not looking up from the mechanical arm. “I no longer have any desire to kill you. If I did I would have left you in that cave and saved myself the trouble of dragging you out.” He raised his eyes to meet Kylo's briefly. "And trust me it _was_ trouble."

Kylo _could_ read the truth in Hux’s words. Of course he hadn’t really believed that Hux wanted him dead any longer, he’d just been so angry at the hypocritical way that Hux had rebuffed him that he’d lost his temper.

Hux got out another tool and removed a panel in Kylo’s forearm to expose the wires. “Your turn.”

“What?”

“Whatever you want to say, now is the time to say it,” Hux replied as he fiddled with the wires.

“I’ve never coerced you into sex and didn’t appreciate the insinuation that I would,” Kylo said, getting to the heart of his frustration. “I've never even been the first to touch you until today.”

Hux paused in his work and finally looked up, giving Kylo his full attention. “Maybe not with your hands, but I've felt your displeasure many times. Surely you can understand why I’d wonder about it now?”

Kylo frowned. He _had_ lashed out at Hux in the aftermath of Snoke’s death and in retrospect he’d let his anger get the best of him. Anger gave him power, but he was starting to realize that it was also a vulnerability. “As long as you don’t harm me, I won’t harm you.”

He said the words like a vow and Hux studied him for a moment before nodding and turning his attention back to the arm. “Very well."

"I like sex with you," Kylo said, since they were apparently being honest. "I don't want to go back to celibacy."

“I’m not a droid to be used as you wish," Hux said.

"I'm painfully aware of that," Kylo said wryly. "But I don't see why we both can't use each other."

"Both of us as equals?" Hux's voice was deceptively casual.

Kylo let his mind brush the edges of Hux's consciousness before he answered. Kylo didn't have to actually enter Hux's mind to sense how important his answer was. "When it comes to sex, then yes."

That was all that Kylo could offer Hux. He wasn't about to cede ground when it came to making the big decisions and he wasn't going to lie to Hux. As far as he was concerned, Rey was the only living person that could truly approach him as an equal, but that was about power and not sex. He desired Hux sexually and as such he could treat Hux as his equal in that one area.

Hux pursed his lips as if he disapproved of the clarification, but nevertheless nodded his head. "Very well. Now move your index finger.”

Kylo flexed the finger, surprised to find it responding much more easily than it had before. Hux had him move the rest of his fingers and continued tweaking the connections until his hand behaved almost naturally even without using the Force to augment the mechanics.

“There,” Hux said, a note of pride creeping into his voice. “That should work better. There isn’t much I can do about the nerve connections, but at least the mechanics are behaving themselves now.”

Kylo picked up a piece of dried fruit from the plate that Hux had brought him earlier. He was able to easily grasp it and raise it to his mouth.

“Where did you learn mechanical work?” Kylo asked, genuinely curious about Hux’s past for the first time. “It’s an unexpected skill for a commanding officer.”

Hux put away his tools and leaned back so that he was resting against the wall. “I’ve always appreciated the logical nature of engineering. I built my first droid when I was twelve.” He gazed off into the distance. “My father thought it was a waste of time and destroyed it.”

A fierce look crossed Hux’s face. “I built another just to spite him. It was worth the punishment.”

“Of course you did,” Kylo said. “You never back down.”

Hux gave him a brief smile and Kylo realized it was the first one he could remember seeing directed at him in nearly a decade—from anyone. "Can I kiss you?"

Hux nodded and Kylo leaned forward to press their lips together. This kiss was gentler than the others, more of a question than anything else.

After a few seconds, Hux pulled away and stood up. "It's late. We should go to bed."

Kylo didn't have to use the Force to sense the true meaning behind Hux's words and he didn't waste any time joining him.

 

**

  
Kylo rolled over and reached his arm out into the cold spot where Hux should be. They’d combined their bedrolls days ago, creating a makeshift bed that was large enough for the two of them. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable sleeping next to another person, but it had its advantages during the cold desert nights.

It made having sex easier too.

Judging by the chill in the air, the sun wasn’t up yet. Being underground helped mitigate the temperature, but it still got hot in the day and cold at night. He cracked his eyes open, but didn’t see Hux in the kitchen and he couldn’t hear him anywhere either.

Kylo sighed and got out of bed. He pulled on his pants and then stretched out his awareness with the Force. He followed the path it laid out to the workshop where he found Hux hard at work on their vaporator.

“What are you doing?”

Hux shrugged. “The vaporator was acting up yesterday and we won’t last long without it.”

“And it couldn’t wait until morning?”

Hux raised one eyebrow. “This coming from the man who didn’t sleep at all on Dagobah?”

“I’m trying to make up for it here,” Kylo responded, more defensively than he’d intended. There was something about the isolation of the desert and the stress relief that came from sex that had overridden his normal sleeping habits and for the first time since his childhood he’d been enjoying more than a few hours a night. The clarity it brought was assisting his meditation—not that it was getting him anywhere.

Since he was up anyway, Kylo made his way across the room to his normal meditation spot and sat down, crossing his legs. Each day for the past week he’d spent most of his time in this spot trying to commune with his grandfather, but unlike the Dagobah ghosts that had appeared even though they weren’t wanted Vader wasn’t anywhere to be found.

He’d managed to catalog every nuance of Vader’s emotions when he was here. The righteous anger, the fear, and strangely enough a fierce love that bordered on the possessive. That last emotion had surprised him and he’d spent all day yesterday analyzing every single thread of life until he’d found one that resonated with Vader’s… and his own.

Kylo had never given much thought to his grandmother. His mother had told him a few things about Padme when he was little, but she’d mostly told him about her adoptive mother and her time on Alderaan. For the first time he was curious about the rest of his lineage.

“How extensive are the records on your datapad?” Kylo asked.

Hux stopped hammering at the vaporator and gave Kylo his full attention. “It has local maps and resources as well as the standard Galactic Encyclopedia and a selection of literature. It’s capable of connecting to the HoloNet, but I’d prefer not to risk that on a device with only basic security.”

“Can you run a search for Padme Amadala?”

Hux raised an eyebrow at him, but put aside his tools and typed the request into the datapad. “I’m familiar with the name from the history of the Clone Wars and the founding of the Empire.”

He read what he found before giving the datapad over to Kylo. “It’s pretty standard stuff. She was Queen of Naboo and then a Senator. She died young, but there aren’t many details.”

“There wouldn’t be,” Kylo murmured as he looked at the picture of a young woman. She was wearing an elaborate headpiece and heavy ceremonial makeup, but he could see that her eyes were kind. It was funny that he’d never bothered to look her up before now. He’d always been more focused on learning about Vader.

His mother had hated that.

“My grandmother,” Kylo explained. He skimmed the rest of the entry, but there wasn’t anything besides her political stances and military decisions. The personal information was sparse and her death was only represented by a date. No explanation of what had happened.

Hux eyes widened. “She and Vader?”

“She died in childbirth.” Kylo handed the datapad back to Hux. “On the same day Anakin Skywalker destroyed the Jedi Order and the Empire rose from the ashes.”

“And no one knew?”

Kylo shrugged. “Jedi weren’t supposed to fall in love and have children. They kept it secret.”

Hux gave him a long look. “For someone who hates the Jedi as much as you do, you certainly have a lot of similar ideas.”

Kylo glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means,” Hux said. He carefully packed his tools away. “I’ll finish working on the vaporator later.”

Kylo watched Hux leave the room. Hux wasn’t a man prone to romantic tendencies. He’d never sensed a desire in him for things like marriage and children. But he _had_ felt the hurt that he’d inflicted on Hux when he’d called off their original arrangement years ago. Hux had quickly covered it with anger, but it had been there.

Rejecting attachment had always been a fundamental part of learning the Force. Luke had preached the dangers of attachment from a Jedi perspective, although his own life history had not reflected that lesson well. Snoke’s approach had been very different, but the core had been the same.

The Jedi thought that attachment could lead to emotions like jealousy and greed which let the Dark Side in. Meanwhile Snoke had believed that Kylo’s attachments were what caused his conflict. That the nostalgic bonds from his childhood were what tempted him to the Light.

Maybe they were both wrong.

 

**

 

“Kylo Ren,” an all too familiar voice said. “You managed to surprise me.”

Kylo slowly turned around, conscious of making sure he didn’t look as frightened as he felt—not that it mattered since his master could read his emotions—and found Snoke sitting on his throne, a look of wry amusement on his face.

“You’re dead.” The ship that housed the room he was standing in had been destroyed and his master had been dead for months. He had to be dreaming.

“Are you sure about that?” Snoke asked with just a hint of a dark chuckle. “Those who are strong in the Force never truly die.”

“So I’m starting to realize.” Kylo reached out toward Snoke with the Force, but as always he hit an impenetrable mental wall. He’d never been able to read more than a few emotions off of Snoke and he was certain that those had been projected on purpose. “What do you want?”

“Why to continue your training of course.” Snoke smirked, his twisted amusement on full display. “You _are_ all that’s left of my legacy, after all.” He leaned forward on the throne. “Now kneel.”

Kylo stayed stubbornly standing, refusing to bow to someone who he’d bested.

“Very well.” Snoke raised his hand and Kylo was forced abruptly to his knees. They may be in Kylo’s dream, but Snoke’s power felt all too real. “Now, boy, you may have managed to kill me, but you’ve made a mess of everything after. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“No, sir,” Kylo said, slipping dutifully back into old habits and hating himself for it.

“You’re lucky that I’m still willing to help you,” Snoke said. “Because you don’t deserve it.”

Kylo kept his eyes on the floor and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from responding inappropriately. Just like before, he needed to play along until he found an opening. “What do you want me to do?”

“You’ve been straying closer and closer to the light. Killing your father didn’t solve the problem the way we’d hoped, but that was my fault.” Snoke leaned back and steepled his fingers thoughtfully. “I wrongly assumed that your connection to your father was deeper than it was, but you hadn’t even spoken to the man in over a decade. Had you?”

“No, sir,” Kylo replied. It _was_ true that he and Han had been long estranged, but he’d still felt the loss. If anything it had shaken his resolve instead of strengthening it.

“If you want to unlock the true powers of the Dark Side and vanquish the light once and for all, you must make a meaningful sacrifice.” Snoke leaned forward again and fixed Kylo with a penetrating stare. “General Hux, how is he?”

Kylo bristled, not liking the direction this was going. “I wouldn’t know.”

Snoke laughed, a harsh sound. “Your pathetic attempt to shield him, proves my assessment correct. If you truly want to dedicate yourself to the Dark Side and finish your training you must kill him. Your… affection… for him is the final piece that must be sacrificed to give you the power you seek.”

“You were certain that killing my father would give me the clarity I sought and you were wrong,” Kylo pointed out. “Why should I believe you now?”

“It worked for Vader,” Snoke responded. “Losing his wife was the final step on his path to greatness.” Snoke waved his hand at Kylo in a dismissive gesture. “Now wake up and think on what I’ve told you.”

Kylo startled awake, jerking up into a sitting position with his heart racing. Snoke was the last person he’d expected to see again, but the dream had been too real to doubt.

He glanced around the room, peering into the corners as if he expected to see his master sitting there watching him from the shadows.

“Ren?” Hux mumbled, not yet entirely awake. “What’s wrong?”

Kylo looked at Hux, his expression still softened by sleep, and knew that he couldn’t even begin to explain what happened. “Just a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

“Hmm,” Hux murmured, already drifting off.

Kylo hadn’t lied. It _had_ been a nightmare, but it was also a lot more. Even now there was an oily feeling to the Force that felt like his master’s residue. The ghosts of Luke and Yoda had been hazy things. He’d seen them and heard them, but they’d been faint and insubstantial.

Snoke on the other hand had been in his mind. He would have to be more careful to protect himself.

Kylo employed all of his meditation techniques to calm his breathing and clear his mind. He strengthened the barriers that he’d let slide after weeks of only Hux’s presence. He never let down the walls entirely—it would be stupid to leave his mind open when Rey was out there hunting him—but Snoke’s skill with mental manipulation was much greater than Rey’s. After all, his dormant Force bond with Rey had been forged by Snoke. Neither of them could have managed it on their own.

He lay back down and stared at the scorch marks on the ceiling. He doubted that he would manage anymore sleep tonight, but getting up would be like admitting defeat. Besides, staying here allowed him hear the steady rhythm of Hux’s breathing.

Kylo didn’t doubt that killing Hux would open him up to the Dark Side like never before. He was also certain that Snoke wouldn’t have suggested it unless he had an ulterior motive. Once again he was trying to manipulate Kylo by dangling the power he’d always craved in front of him.

Kylo had fallen for that trick twice before—first at Luke’s school and then with his father—and all it had done was bind him more tightly to Snoke’s control.

Hux exhaled softly and rolled closer to Kylo, resting his forehead against Kylo’s shoulder. It never ceased to amaze him the way Hux mellowed in his sleep. When he was awake he was prickly and defensive, keeping his cards close to his chest, but in his sleep all the pretense fell away.

No, he wasn’t going to follow Snoke’s path this time. He’d find his own path to power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you all think this is a turning point for Kylo? Yes? No?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give special thanks to somehowunbroken for stepping in to beta this chapter for me. I really appreciate it!

Hux put on his glareshades—he’d learned his lesson last time—and slung a bag that contained some basic supplies over his shoulder before following Ren out to the speeder. “Where are we going? No, wait, let me guess. You don’t know.”

Ren must have realized that he was teasing and gave him the briefest of smiles before starting the speeder and taking off into the desert, completely ignoring anything that even looked like a path.

“My grandfather went this way,” Ren explained. “His rage was fierce enough to burn a path into the Force.”

“What’s it like?” Hux asked. He’d never asked Ren about the Force. Even if he’d been interested before—which he hadn’t been—there was no way Ren would have deigned to answer, but things seemed to be changing. “Sensing all that about people long dead? Do you feel it all the time or just when you’re meditating?”

“It’s always there like a background hum,” Ren said. “Most of the time it takes focus and meditation to read anything from the past. Even then I need a connection to the person involved to understand it.” He paused and changed directions slightly. “It’s growing easier the more I do it. The future, though… that’s still difficult.”

“The future?” Hux asked doubtfully. “It seems impossible to truly know what will happen before it does. There are too many variables.”

Ren nodded once. “Visions of the future are constantly changing and are extremely difficult to interpret.”

“I don’t think I’d want to know,” Hux said. “Not if it wasn’t certain. It would just make everything more confusing.”

“Knowing has never helped me,” Ren admitted. “I haven’t tried to see the future since my last fight with Rey.”

Hux looked at him over the top of the glareshades. “What did you see then?”

“I saw myself on a throne,” Ren said. “It was in a room I’ve never seen before.” He shook his head. “Clearly it was a possible future that is no more.”

Hux frowned and looked out over the desert. He didn’t know anything about visions, but seeing something like that and having it be false would be disheartening.

Ren glanced at Hux with a pensive expression. “You know what really happened to Snoke?”

“You mean the part where you killed him? I’m not stupid enough to believe that was all Rey.” He’d long since accepted that Ren had killed Snoke. There was no use being angry about it any longer. And frankly, Snoke’s obsessions with the Force and Luke Skywalker were part of the reason the Order fell, too. It hadn’t been all Ren.

“It was complicated,” Ren said dismissively. “But the interesting part is that all three of us—myself, Rey, and Snoke—had a vision of what would happen. And we were all partially right and yet all very wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Hux asked, the strategist in him intrigued by the situation that had led up to Snoke’s downfall.

“Rey saw me turn against Snoke and assumed I would return to the Light. Snoke saw me kill my greatest enemy and assumed it was Rey.”

“And you?”

“I saw Rey fighting by my side and assumed she would turn against the Resistance.”

“So you all saw what you wanted to see,” Hux commented. “Perhaps interpreting the future would work better if you left your own desires out of it.”

“Perhaps,” Kylo agreed. “But that’s easier said than done.”

They fell into a easy silence for the rest of the trip. The fact that their interactions had grown comfortable in such a short time was almost unsettling. Hux still wasn’t ready to entirely trust Ren, but he definitely preferred their relationship now to what it had been.

Ren pulled to a stop. There was nothing to distinguish this spot of desert from any other, and yet there was something about the place that made the hair on Hux’s arms stand on end. He shivered and rubbed briskly at the gooseflesh.

“What happened here?”

Ren gave him a sharp look. “The Dark Side is strong here. I sense fear, rage, and death. Lots of death.”

“It reminds me of the cave.” Hux pulled out his datapad. He had no intention of getting out of the speeder in this place. “Try not to pass out here too. I don’t want to have to haul your ass around in this heat.”

**

Kylo left Hux in the speeder and worked his way around the area until he found a promising spot to meditate.

Kylo was well aware just how powerful the Dark was in this area, but the fact that Hux could sense it was surprising. He didn’t have an aptitude for the Force, but he was sensitive enough to react to certain places. Of course a place that had experienced this much trauma would make most people uncomfortable. They wouldn’t know why, but they would instinctively avoid it.

Hux went one step further, though. His comparison with the cave had been very apt. With that in mind, Kylo took time to protect his mind before reaching out to the Force. He didn’t want a repeat of his vision in the cave.

Kylo slowly sunk into the Force and cleared his mind of everything but the impressions left behind. There had been a massacre here many decades ago. No one had been spared. Not even the children.

Not that that surprised Kylo. Anakin had killed the Jedi younglings the way he’d killed his own classmates at Luke’s school—the ones who wouldn’t follow him—but this event happened long before Anakin had become Vader and left the Jedi Order. This massacre wasn’t in any of the record books or the histories he’d read.

He stretched his mind out until he could just make out the hazy figure of a man holding a lightsaber striking down an entire village of Tuskens.

Kylo opened his eyes and looked around him. It was hard to imagine that a village had once been here. The desert had completely reclaimed everything, the sand covering any evidence that had been left behind.

“It’s getting late,” Hux called from the speeder.

Kylo looked up at the sky and sure enough, one of the suns had almost set and the other was well on its way.

He got up and stretched the kinks out of his back. He hadn’t been training his body the way he should since they’d gone on the run and it was starting to take its toll on him. He’d have to add exercise to his routine or he’d regret it the next time he had to fight someone.

“Any luck?” Hux asked. He handed Kylo his canteen, which he accepted gratefully.

He took a long drink of water before answering. “I don’t know. You said your datapad has local information?”

“Some.”

“Is there anything about a Tusken village that used to be here?”

While Hux looked up his request, Kylo started the speeder and headed back toward the farm.

“There’s not much in here about the Tuskens at all. It’s mostly just warnings to avoid them.”

Hux set the datapad aside and handed Kylo a ration cube. It was flavorless and the texture was odd, but it sated his hunger.

“What did you do while I meditated?” Kylo asked to fill the silence. He didn’t really want to talk about what he’d witnessed so any other topic would be preferable.

“One of the books on the datapad is a history of the Clone Wars,” Hux said, with a wry laugh. “The perspective is very different than the one I read in the Academy.”

“I’m sure it is,” Kylo said. “I doubt either is actually accurate.”

“History books are nothing but propaganda,” Hux agreed. “It’s one of the reasons I liked engineering. Either something worked or it didn’t. There was no room for subjectivity.”

“And yet you used all of that propaganda to progress the Order’s objectives,” Kylo pointed out. “And you conditioned your stormtroopers with it.”

“I don’t have to like a tool to use it,” Hux said. “Only a fool wouldn’t use every tool in his kit.” He gazed off into the distance. “And there was something about engineering minds that had its own appeal.”

Kylo probably shouldn’t find it comforting that Hux was just as dark as he was, but he did. It meant they understood each other.  
  
**

Kylo tossed and turned, but sleep had been evading him since his nightmare about Snoke. Every time he actually managed to fall asleep he heard Snoke’s laughter echoing and he jerked awake again.

After several hours of attempting sleep to no avail, he got out of bed and went to the workshop to exercise. Hopefully a few hours of physical exertion would make it easier to sleep. He’d just gotten used to actually sleeping through the night and he hated that he was reverting to his previous habits.

Kylo left his lightsaber on the table, running through his stances without it. Each movement was familiar and comforting in its own way. The repetitive nature of the exercises allowed him to slip into an almost meditative state and maybe that was his mistake.

It took him longer than he should to notice the oily feel to the Force around him and when he did he opened his eyes to see Snoke sitting on his throne in the corner of the room. He was hazy and indistinct, but unlike the blues of Luke and Yoda, he appeared in shades of red.

“Your form is sloppy,” Snoke criticized. “You’ve grown soft.”

“And you’re still dead.”

The sardonic amusement disappeared from Snoke’s expression and Kylo braced himself for a punishment that never came. If he’d been that disrespectful to Snoke in the past he would have been swiftly corrected. Even a few days ago in his nightmare, Snoke had driven him to his knees, but this time there was nothing.

Kylo smirked. “Did you use up most of your power to materialize? Why don’t you drop the throne? It’s a wasteful indulgence and not nearly as intimidating as you think it is.”

“You try my patience, boy.”

“And you waste my time. What do you want?”

Snoke frowned at Kylo, his scars twisting into an even more disturbing visage. “Have you thought about what we discussed?”

“You mean killing Hux?”

A loud gasp came from behind him, followed by the clatter of several plates. He spun around to see his breakfast on the floor and Hux staring at him in horror, his face pale.

“It’s not what you think.” Kylo tried to take a step toward Hux who immediately jerked back.

“You mean you aren’t talking to the wall about killing me?” Hux asked, his chin raised proudly although Kylo could feel the fear swirling just beneath the surface.

“I wasn’t talking to the wall. Snoke’s ghost is here—”

“Because that makes it better,” Hux interrupted. He fled the room, slamming the door behind him.

Snoke’s amused laughter made it hard for Kylo to think so he spun on the ghost and lashed out with both his voice and the Force. “Get out of here!”

A ripple went through the air and Snoke managed to stay corporeal long enough to look surprised before the energy dissipated and all that was left was the echo of his laughter.

That taken care of Kylo took off after Hux and found him in the main room shoving things into his bag. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like?” Hux asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Let me explain.”

“Explain what?” Hux asked. “The fact that either you’re going mad or the Supreme Leader is haunting us? Or maybe the fact that you’re planning to kill me?”

“Snoke wanted me to kill you,” Kylo said, hating the desperation he could hear in his own voice. “He came to me in a dream and told me it would grant me power, more power than killing my father, but I rejected him.”

Hux finally stopped packing and let out a bitter laugh. “ _Of course_ you’re going to kill me. Maybe not today, but eventually. I was always expendable, wasn’t I?” He slung his bag over his shoulder. “I’ve lost everything because of you. _Everything_. Do you understand that? Well, I refuse to lose my life to your twisted Force games.” He stalked out the door. “Don’t follow me.”

Kylo stood frozen in place until he heard the speeder start up and disappear. Without thinking, he balled his mechanical hand into a fist and punched the nearest wall hard enough to leave a hole.

He pulled his hand back and stared down at it, flexing his fingers. Each one still worked perfectly despite the abuse. Thanks to Hux.

“Why do you bother protecting him when he clearly doesn’t appreciate you?” Snoke asked, his nearly transparent figure reappearing, but without the throne this time. “He was never intended to be more than a means to an end. You’ve fallen farther than I thought if you can’t see that.”

“Or maybe I’m finally starting to see things clearly,” Kylo said. “Killing my father didn’t grant me power and killing Hux won’t either.” He remembered the lightning he’d frozen in place above Hux’s head. “The most powerful I’ve felt in a long time was when I _protected_ him.”

Kylo raised his mechanical hand, the one that Hux had opened up and made work. “I don’t know what your true motives are and I don’t care. If you appear again I will burn your very existence out of the Force itself.” He tilted his head, considering the almost electric feel to the energy surrounding him. “I think I could do that if it was to protect him.”

Kylo jerked his hand and Snoke dissipated again, only this time there was no oily residue left behind in the Force; instead, there was the scent of ozone in the air. It felt clean and reminded him once again of the lightning strike he’d saved Hux from.

**

Kylo hid in the shadows in the alley outside of the cantina, his brown robes making him nearly invisible, and stretched out with his mind.

He could sense Hux clearly now that he was close and he was surprised to feel the resignation radiating off of him. He'd never known Hux to be less than determined, always ready with a new plan or strategy no matter how bad the setback. Even after he’d been choked and thrown against a wall, he’d managed to stand up straight and meet Kylo’s eyes. But now, that confidence was gone.

Kylo closed his eyes and let his consciousness slide into Hux's mind. His thoughts were hazy with alcohol, but foremost among them was the acceptance that he had nowhere left to turn.

 _It's not like I can go back to Ren with my tail between my legs._ Hux's thought was clear enough to cut through the haze. _He'd just kill me if I did._

Kylo pulled back, angry that Hux doubted him. That _that_ was the one thought that managed to be clear in the disjointed drunken mess of his mind. It was true that Kylo had eliminated every other attachment in his life and this one _should_ be like all the others, but it wasn't.

Hux was his and he was willing to fight Snoke or anyone else who thought otherwise. Even Hux.

He took a deep breath, trying to center himself before entering the cantina. Of all the places Hux could have gone he had to choose this one. If he didn’t know better he’d think that Hux had chosen it on purpose as yet another way to get under Kylo's skin, but there was no way for Hux to know about his father’s Force echo.

Kylo hunched over and hid his face with the hood of his robe, trying to make himself appear smaller and less noticeable. This establishment was a gathering place for both criminals and bounty hunters and he'd prefer to avoid the notice of the latter.

Not that his discretion did any good since Hux was sitting at the center of the bar with several empty glasses around him. He hadn't even had the sense to take one of the tables in the back. Not that Kylo wanted to go toward the energy he could feel lingering near one of the back tables.

He slid into the space next to Hux and whispered harshly, "It's time to leave."

Hux turned and blinked owlishly at him, his eyes glazed over with alcohol. "I'm not done with my drink."

"Oh, you're done," Kylo muttered. He grabbed Hux's arm. "What were you thinking? Anyone could spot you here.”

Hux struggled, trying to pull out of Kylo's grip. "What's it matter if I die now or just wait for you to kill me?"

"I told you I'm not going to kill you," Kylo hissed, exasperated.

"You will, though," Hux said, his words growing more slurred. "You'll want the power. It's what men like us do. Anything for power.“

Kylo shook his head. He'd had enough of trying to argue with an inebriated Hux. He pressed his hand to Hux's forehead and used the Force to deliver a command to sleep into his mind. He immediately slumped forward and Kylo caught him.

He slung Hux over his shoulder and did his best to deter the watchful eyes, but there was no way he could eliminate all trace of this scene from their minds. He could only hope that they’d be long gone by the time one of the bounty hunters realized what kind of payoff had been right under his nose.

“You are an idiot,” Kylo muttered like a mantra as he carried Hux back to the speeder. Thankfully it was still dark and most of the residents of Mos Eisley had long ago learned to turn a blind eye to suspicious activity. “A stupid, weak idiot.”

He dumped Hux into the passenger seat and despite his continuous stream of insults, Kylo took the time to carefully strap him in before getting behind the wheel and taking off into the desert.

Hux slept through most of the trip, which gave Kylo time to run Hux’s words over and over in his mind. _"You'll want the power. It's what men like us do. Anything for power.“_

Kylo couldn’t deny that he’d made most of his choices based on obtaining power. Hux had done the same and he doubted that either of them would ever stop being driven by that desire. Maybe part of him would have been tempted by Snoke’s offer in another time, but he didn’t believe a word of it now.

There were other paths to power that didn’t lead through a man stupid enough to underestimate him. Snoke had manipulated them both too many times for him to fall for it again.

The first sun was just beginning to rise when Hux finally woke up.

“Wha—” Hux exclaimed, his mind still disjointed, but much clearer than it had been. “Ren?” He leaned forward and fumbled at the seat belts. “I’m going to be sick.”

Kylo sighed and glanced over at him. He did look green around the eyes and there was an unhealthy flush to his face.

Kylo pulled the speeder to a stop and used the Force to open the passenger door since Hux didn’t seem capable of the coordination necessary. Hux immediately leaned out of the vehicle and retched.

Kylo got out and went around back to retrieve the water he’d brought. There were also rags in the back and he moistened one.

“Here.” Kylo thrust the damp cloth and a canteen at Hux, careful to keep his robes out of the mess of sick.

Hux looked up at him, surprise clearly written on his face. “Thank you.”

It sounded more like a question than a genuine thank you, but Kylo wasn’t going to be picky. A thank you from Hux was a rare enough event as it was.

Hux rinsed out his mouth with a sip from the canteen and then wiped his face. He was watching Kylo curiously. “Why are you being so helpful?”

“Are you still drunk?” Kylo asked, ignoring Hux’s question.

Hux shrugged. “Maybe a little. I mostly just feel like crap.”

“You should,” Kylo muttered as he got back behind the wheel. He stared straight ahead for a moment, not engaging the engine. “You told me you no longer have any desire to kill me. Well, I’ve _never_ wanted to kill you. If I did you would have been dead a long time ago.”

“The power—”

“Is a lie,” Kylo said firmly. “Snoke doesn’t offer anything without a yoke attached and I’m done being his pawn.” He looked at Hux, making sure he had his full attention before continuing. “You’re mine.”

Hux glared at him in challenge. His posture much more confident than the anxious emotions that Kylo could feel coming off of him in waves. “Only if you’re mine.”

Kylo had offered Hux equality when it came to their sexual relationship, but that clearly wasn’t enough any longer. The thought of losing Hux wasn’t acceptable anymore and he knew that if he wanted this to work he had to meet Hux halfway.

He nodded once abruptly. “Very well.”

Hux’s eyes widened in shock at the unexpected agreement and Kylo took pleasure at being able to surprise him.

“You’re serious?”

Kylo started the speeder again. “Your insecurity isn’t very becoming.”

“My insecurity?” Hux sat forward irritation flowing off of him in waves. “You’re an asshole.”

“I am,” Kylo agreed. He cut his eyes to Hux. “But I’m your asshole.”

That took the wind out of Hux’s sails, and he sat back in the seat with his arms folded across his chest. He was trying to glare at Kylo, but he wasn’t very successful—the waves of pleasure singing through the Force gave him away.

**

Hux must have drifted off to sleep again at some point, because he woke up on his bedroll with Ren sound asleep next to him. If it weren’t for the piercing headache, he would have thought yesterday had just been a bad dream.

He got up and staggered into the refresher to relieve himself and then went into the kitchen for water and a pain reliever. He hadn’t gotten that stupidly drunk since the Academy and now he was remembering why.

Ren was sitting up when he re-entered the living space. “How much do you remember?”

Hux cast his mind back over the previous day and didn’t sense any gaps, just lots of embarrassingly bad decisions… and one unexpected declaration.

“Everything,” Hux muttered as he crawled back onto the bedroll and pulled the blanket over his face. It was too hot for the blanket—he’d wager it was early afternoon—but he would rather hide.

Unfortunately, Ren didn’t let him. He pulled the blanket down, gave Hux a long accessing look, and then kissed him once before getting up. “You should sleep more. You look like shit.”

“You’re such a charmer,” Hux responded. He wasn’t going to argue with the suggestion of more sleep though. He’d forgotten how miserable hangovers were.

He woke up again to the smell of food cooking. He sat up, glad that his headache had finally passed, and saw Ren standing at the small portable stove that they’d set up in the kitchen.  “I didn’t know you cooked.”

“I don’t,” Ren said. He scooped soup into two bowls and brought them over to Hux.

Hux took the bowl he was offered and his stomach rumbled. It smelled delicious. “It sure looks like you cook.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Ren said, eating his own soup.

Hux took a cautious spoonful and found that the soup was indeed wonderful. “You’ve been settling for the crap I cook when you can make something like this?”

“Food is about nutrition not taste,” Ren said in that annoying way of his. “And I can only make a few things.” He glanced at his bowl, a far away look in his eyes. “My father used to make me this soup when I was sick. It seemed appropriate. Of course I had to alter it to work with the supplies we have.”

The change in their relationship hadn’t truly sunk in until this moment. Ren had not only come after Hux and brought him back, but he was trying to take care of him. No one had ever taken care of Hux before. Not even his own parents.

“I don’t get it,” Hux said, keeping his eyes fixed on his food. “Aren’t you mad at me?”

“I’m… frustrated that you were reckless and took such stupid risks,” Ren answered, carefully. That was new too. Ren was never careful. “But the only person I’m mad at is Snoke. He engineered that whole situation, waiting until you were there to overhear. It’s the kind of thing he does.”

Hux looked around the room uneasily. “Can he just pop in whenever he wants?”

“Not anymore,” Ren answered, darkly. “He won’t bother us again.”

“How can you be so sure?” Hux knew first hand just how powerful the former Supreme Leader was and apparently death hadn’t been enough to keep him away.

“I’m more powerful than him,” Ren said matter-of-factly. There was no bragging in his tone; he was just stating a fact, and something about that confidence made Hux feel more secure. “He’s a shadow of his former self and without manipulation he has nothing.”

“And you weren’t tempted at all?”

“No,” Ren answered. “Not after what happened with my father. Besides….”

When Ren didn’t finish his thought, Hux finally gave him his full attention. “What?”

“Snoke taught me that attachments made me weak,” Ren said. “But saving you from that lightning and even the dinosaur—that wasn’t weakness. That was the most powerful I’ve felt in a long time. Things were clear in those moments. Pure.”

Hux frowned. “So you’re saying I make you more powerful?”

Ren shrugged. “All I know is that Snoke was wrong about you making me weak.”  He gave Hux a long look. “Do you really think I ruined everything? Before?”

Hux chewed his lower lip. “It was easier to blame you for everything at the time. But no, Snoke was responsible for a lot. And I probably played a role as well. Although things might have gone better if you’d been willing to listen to me, at least sometimes.”

“I am now,” Ren said simply.

Hux didn’t know how to respond to that. Ren was being more open and honest than Hux ever expected him to be and it was almost intimidating. “The why doesn’t really matter anyway. But the reality is I’ve lost everything—my whole life’s work.”

“What do you want?”

Hux set aside his empty bowl. “That’s the worst part. I don’t know. I’ve never not known before. My life has always had a path and a purpose.”

Ren set aside his own bowl and wrapped his arm around Hux pulling him close. Hux resisted at first because he’d never done this before. Any intimacy had always been restricted to sex, but once he gave in and leaned against Ren’s chest he had to admit it felt nice.

Ren didn’t have any reassurances to offer, but Hux still felt better. After a moment he tentatively wrapped his arm around Ren’s waist and moved in closer until there was no space between them.

“At least I’m not alone in this,” Hux said quietly. He was finally willing to believe that Ren was serious about this relationship. After all, Kylo Ren didn’t cuddle—he’d never cuddled during their fling before—so if he was cuddling now it had to mean something.

“You aren’t,” Ren agreed.

“Allies.” Hux hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it was the relationship he’d always wanted. An ally that he could trust to have his back. Someone who wouldn’t leave him behind.

“If that’s what you want to call it,” Ren agreed.

“What would you call it?”

Ren was quiet for a moment. “Partners.”

Hux had to agree that had a nice ring to it.

**

It was early afternoon when Kylo decided to head back to the farm. Both of the suns were high in the sky and the intense heat was making it hard to meditate properly. On top of that, he’d felt vaguely uneasy all day.

It was probably just the overwhelming presence of the Dark Side at the massacre site disturbing the natural balance of the Force, but still, it wouldn’t hurt to head back early today and check in with Hux.

Hux had decided to stay behind, claiming that he was still recovering from his bender, but Kylo was pretty sure it was just an excuse to avoid an afternoon in the sun.

The closer he got to the farm, the more uneasy he felt until he finally got close enough to see the smoke. He didn’t want to believe what he was seeing at first, sure that he had to have slipped into a Force vision of the past, but it wasn’t the hazy indistinct echo of a vision. It was real and tangible and smelled like ash.

The fire seemed to have burned out, but the dome was still smoking and the vaporator that they’d kept right outside the entrance had been destroyed. Their belongings—what little there were—were spread out on the ground and what hadn’t been burnt looked like it’d been trampled on.

Kylo forced down the rage he could feel bubbling up inside of him. His fingers itched to draw his lightsaber and destroy something—anything—but that wouldn’t help him right now. Instead he closed his eyes and extended his awareness out into the Force, looking for Hux.

He couldn’t sense him anywhere nearby, but thankfully he didn’t sense his death either. He _could_ feel Hux’s anger and his fear, though. The emotions were mixed together until they were practically indistinguishable. It was a feeling Kylo knew well.

He made himself do a cursory inspection of the area to make sure he hadn’t missed anything before hunting down what was his. This time he gave into the urge to draw his lightsaber and feel its heft in his hand. Whoever had taken Hux would pay.

He just had to find them first.

He could probably follow Hux’s trail for a bit, but it would be difficult. Hux wasn’t Force adept and wouldn’t leave the same imprint that Luke and Anakin had. It would be more like the echo he’d felt at the cantina, which had only been clear when he was close to it.

As much as it pained him to take the time, he realized that he needed to meditate to seek answers in the Force. If that didn’t work he would go to Mos Eisley and begin ripping thoughts out of the minds of every bounty hunter in town.

Kylo didn’t bother going into the workshop to meditate. Hux had spent most of his time in the main living space and sitting on their bedrolls would be the best place to seek out Hux’s energy.

He was able to use the Force to see a rough replay of the attack on the farm. It was indistinct like an old holovid, but he saw enough. Several people had followed them back from Mos Eisley and waited until Kylo had left before descending on the building. Hux had tried to fight back, but he’d been outnumbered.

The rage he felt seeing one of the men punch Hux in the jaw and then kick him in the ribs when he fell almost broke his meditation. These men were going to live just long enough to regret what they’d done.

He let his mind’s eye follow the kidnappers through the desert and had just managed to see the vague outline of a massive fortress when he was interrupted.

“It was my mother,” a young voice said.

He opened his eyes and glared at the hazy blue figure in front of him. He looked about twenty with shaggy hair and was wearing Jedi robes. “I don’t have time for this.”

The ghost didn’t seem impressed by his glower. “After all these years calling for me, you decided you don’t want to speak to me after all?”

Kylo’s eyes widened as he took a closer look at the young man and saw a face that was familiar from the histories of the Clone Wars that he’d read as a child. He’d known that Anakin Skywalker had been young when he’d visited this place, but it had been hard to think of him that way. In his mind—and most of the holos—he was in black and wearing a mask.

“Grandfather,” Kylo said, respectfully. “I apologize for my distraction.”

“I understand the fear you feel. I had dreams of my mother being tortured in the desert. That’s why I was here.” Anakin frowned. “Your concern for your partner speaks well of you, but it’s also dangerous.”

“For them,” Kylo said darkly. “They took something that belongs to me.”

Anakin shook his head. “I once thought like you do, but it won’t work the way you think.”

This wasn’t going the way Kylo had always thought it would. He’d imagined that Vader would impart a terrible responsibility on him and that he would take up the mantle of prophecy. Instead the Jedi of his grandfather’s youth was speaking to him in riddles.

“With all due respect, Hux needs me,” Kylo said, beginning to lose his patience. He’d never in his wildest dreams thought that he would cut a conversation with his grandfather short, but he really didn’t have time for this.

“And you will go to him,” Anakin said. “But when you do it has to be about him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It can’t be about vengeance. It can’t be about the offense you feel. It can’t be selfish,” Anakin said. “That’s the path to Darkness.”

“The Dark Side doesn’t scare me,” Kylo said, impatiently. “Those emotions are tools to be used just like any other.”

“Perhaps,” Anakin said. “But I didn’t understand what love truly meant until my son came to me and was determined to save me no matter the cost to himself. I loved Padme fiercely, but I didn’t love her well. I loved my mother enough to avenge her death, but I wasn’t there when she needed her son. Learn from my mistakes, don’t repeat them.”

Kylo closed his eyes. For more than a decade he’d been trying to commune with his grandfather, wanting to live up to Vader’s legacy, and now he was being told it was all a lie. That everything he’d been striving for was pointless. Anakin didn’t want him to fulfill the prophecy at all.

“My son thinks that you’re beyond saving,” Anakin continued, a challenge in his voice. “Prove him wrong. He needs to learn the same lesson he taught me.”

“I don’t need saving, but Hux does,” Kylo said, returning to his meditation pose. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Anakin sighed. “What you seek is on the Great Mesra Plateau, near the Bantha Plains. When you get there remember what I told you.”

As Anakin’s ghost faded, Kylo leapt to his feet. It was time to remind the Galaxy that Kylo Ren was not to be trifled with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hux. What are the chances Kylo listens to Anakin's warnings?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end of our journey...and maybe the start of a new one? 
> 
> Thanks again go to shadynaiad for betaing.

Hope was such a odd thing. It wasn’t a feeling Hux had any prior experience with and yet he still recognized it as he waited for rescue. That was the strangest part really, the unshakable faith that Ren _would_ come for him.

“You’re going to regret this,” Hux said calmly. His statement was met by raucous laughter, probably because he was hanging in a cage above a feast laden table like a rather twisted centerpiece. “This celebration is premature.”

The fortress housed a criminal syndicate and the room was full of the disgusting lowlifes that populated the Outer Rim. Despite being criminals they didn’t seem to have a problem working with bounty hunters and planned to sell him. His bounty was impressive and he would bring a high price.

“And why is that?” The drunken leader of the gang asked. He tossed a bone at Hux. It clanged off of one of the bars and bounced back down to the table where a particularly filthy alien from a species Hux couldn’t name grabbed it up greedily.

“My… ally… will be coming for me,” Hux said, hesitating briefly over how to describe Ren. He may have agreed with Ren’s declaration of partnership, but it felt too personal to share with these loathsome thugs . “And trust me you don’t want to make him angry.”

“Oh yes, the great Kylo Ren,” the leader said mockingly. He took another long drink from his tankard. “Word is that the two of you hate each other. I doubt he’ll raise a finger for you.” He grinned an evil smile, showing off his rotten teeth, and boasted, “and if he does then we’ll get even more credits.”

“Then you’re stupider than I thought.” Hux sat back against the bars, wincing as his ankle shifted painfully. Speaking to these morons was a waste of time. Crimson Dawn they weren’t and it was frankly embarrassing that he’d gotten caught by them.

His only excuse was that they’d taken him by surprise and significantly outnumbered him. Thankfully a sprained ankle seemed to be the worst of his injuries, although he was going to have a nasty bruise on his jaw and a few on his ribs as well.

He glanced down at the end of the table where a vaguely familiar man sat partaking in the feast. Hux couldn’t remember his name, but he was a former Order officer and likely the source of their intel about his antagonistic relationship with Ren. Unfortunately for them, his information was very outdated.

There it was again, that unfamiliar hope. His natural inclination was to assume the worst about everyone, but somehow Ren had wormed beneath his walls and taken up residence. Ren _was_ going to come for him, of that he had no doubts.

The feast was nearly over when a loud bang from the entrance made everyone turn in shock. Everyone except Hux, who smiled at the cloaked figure as he strolled into the room.

Ren had ditched his plain brown robes and was wearing his black outfit once again. The cloak was more tattered than before and he didn’t have his mask, but otherwise he looked unchanged from the monster that had terrorized the Galaxy. It really was a good look on him.

“You took something that belongs to me,” Ren said. He raised his hand and the leader of the gang flew toward him, his hands clawing at his neck. Hux was intimately familiar with that feeling, but he felt no sympathy for the idiot.

Ren jerked his hand and the man’s neck broke.

There really was no honor among thieves as the other criminals leapt up and scrambled for the exits, pushing their friends down to clear the way in the chaos. Ren let them get close to the doors before he slammed all of the exits closed with a flick of his hand.

What followed was a bloodbath the likes of which Hux had never seen—and he’d seen a lot of massacres in his day. Ren wasn’t content to just rescue Hux, he wanted to vent his anger on every person in the room.

At first Hux enjoyed it. These fools hadn’t listened to his warnings and had treated him roughly. He wouldn’t mourn them. But after a few minutes, he became aware of the goosebumps rising on his arms. There was an uneasy feeling in the air that reminded him of the site of the massacre in the desert and, even worse, the cave on Dagobah. It was a feeling of wrongness that he’d never felt from Ren before.

“Ren!” Hux yelled, trying to get his attention. “You’ve made your point. Get me down.”

Ren didn’t react at all, merely moving on to the next cowering man.

“Ren!” Hux tried again and still there was no response. He crawled to the edge of the cage nearest Ren. “Kylo!”

Ren briefly glanced up and Hux felt a chill run straight through him. Ren’s eyes were normally dark brown, but now they were an unnatural golden color.

Hux took a deep breath. “Get me down!”

“Once you’re safe.” Ren sounded distracted, probably because he was disemboweling the former Order officer who really should have known better than to ever risk crossing Ren.

Whatever was happening had something to do with the Force and Hux didn’t like it at all. Ren was losing himself to the battle like the worst kind of berserker and while Hux had no sympathy for the remaining criminals crying in the shadows, he did care about Ren. So he did the only thing he could think of to get his attention.

“Ben! Ben Solo!” Hux yelled. “Get me out of here right now.”

Ren stopped at that and turned to give Hux his full attention. His eyes were still golden, but Hux could see that he was more present now. “What did you call me?”

“Your name.” Hux jutted his chin out in challenge, refusing to let what he’d just witnessed affect the way he talked to Ren. “Now are you going to get me down from here or not?”

Ren raised his hand and the cage slowly lowered to the table. A jerk of his index finger made the door pop open.

Hux crawled carefully out, wincing when he put his weight on his ankle.

“You’re hurt,” Ren said, his voice dark. He half turned toward the remaining men as if Hux’s sprained ankle was all the reason he needed to finish killing them.

Hux grabbed his hand and pulled him back, relieved that Ren didn’t lash out at him in the midst of his bloodlust. “Leave them. They’re unimportant. Just help me out of here.”

Ren stared at him, hesitating, and Hux leaned forward and pressed their lips together. “Please.”

When he pulled back, he was relieved to see that Ren’s eyes were brown again. Ren wrapped his mechanical arm around Hux’s waist and took most of his weight as they slowly made their way out of the compound.

Ren was extremely gentle with Hux as he helped him into the speeder and got him a canteen of water. The softness was even more dramatic when compared to the bloodbath Hux had just witnessed.

Hux would be stupid to ignore what had happened, but he waited until they were well on their way before he brought it up. “What happened back there?”

“I rescued you.”

“You know what I mean,” Hux snapped. He didn’t enjoy it when people played coy with him. “The room felt like that damn cave and your eyes changed colors.”

“They did?” Ren seemed genuinely surprised.

“Has anything like that ever happened before?”

“Once,” Ren answered. He kept his eyes on the desert in front of him. “When I… eliminated… the other student’s at my uncle’s school.” He turned to Hux, a searching expression on his face. “I was fully immersed in the Dark Side. Does it bother you?”

“Of course it fucking bothers me!” Hux yelled. “I don’t care that you killed them—Force knows the idiots deserved it—but you weren’t _you_ anymore. It was like you were in some berserk rage. You didn’t even acknowledge me until I called you Ben.”

Ren’s hands tightened on the controls, but he didn’t say anything.

Hux sighed, the fight going out of him. He tentatively reached out and tugged on Ren’s arm until he let go of the wheel and let Hux take his hand. Hux had never just held hands with someone without a purpose before and holding Ren’s cold mechanical hand probably wasn’t the typical experience, but there was something comforting about it anyway—especially when Ren managed to maneuver his robotic fingers until they were intertwined with Hux’s.

 

**

  
They couldn’t go back to the farm, not without replacing the vaporator and most of their supplies. Instead Kylo drove them to Mos Eisley and got them a room in a shady inn.

Kylo could still feel the remnants of the Dark power flowing through him. It was intoxicating and it was all he could do to not march right back to that compound and finish what he’d started. The problem was that he doubted it would end there. If Hux hadn’t stopped him, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stop himself. After the criminals he would have found a new enemy to eliminate. He’d almost been swept away by it and that was enough to actually scare him.

“Let me see your ankle,” Kylo said. He tried to push away the darkness whispering to him and focus on Hux instead. Hux was safe.

Hux leaned back on the bed and raised his leg, his boot still on.

Kylo sighed at the presumption, but sat down on the bed and took Hux’s leg into his lap. He carefully unlaced the boot.

“Fuck!” Hux exclaimed as Kylo pulled the boot off.

“Sorry,” Kylo muttered. He prodded at the ankle and maneuvered it as gently as he could, although he could still feel the pain radiating off of Hux. Hux had always been good at hiding his pain and even now Kylo could feel that it hurt more than he let on. “It’s not broken. Just a bad sprain.”

He used the Force to summon the medical kit he’d brought in from the speeder and got out a cold pack and some pain relievers. He settled the cold pack on Hux’s ankle and then leaned back against the wall, leaving Hux’s leg in his lap.

Hux sat up for long enough to swallow the meds and then laid back down. “Are we safe here?”

Kylo reached out with his mind as much as he dared while the Darkness was still whispering to him. He didn’t feel an immediate threat, although there was a stirring in the bond he still shared with Rey. It was walled off in a corner of his mind, but he got the impression that she knew what he’d done.

“For tonight,” Kylo said. “You should sleep.”

Hux studied him. “Are you okay?”

“As okay as I ever was.”

Hux frowned at him. “That’s not exactly comforting.”

Kylo reached out and took Hux’s hand with his organic one. Unlike before he could feel the warmth of Hux’s skin and he lightly caressed the back of his hand with his thumb. “Just go to sleep.”

It had been an exhausting day and it didn’t take long for Hux to drift off. Once he was asleep, Kylo closed his eyes and let himself sink back into the Force. He kept his grip on Hux’s hand to ground him and prevent himself from being swept away by the power he could feel on offer if he just let it in.

“Grandfather,” Kylo said quietly. It had taken him more than a decade to talk to Anakin the first time, but he hoped that his grandfather would answer his call anyway.

“You didn’t listen to my warning.”

Kylo opened his eyes and saw Anakin standing next to the bed curiously studying Hux.

“He’s dark too,” Anakin observed. “In some ways darker than you.”

“I know.” Unlike Kylo, Hux had never been conflicted about the choices he’d made and the actions he’d carried out. Not that Kylo judged him for that, if anything he envied him the clarity of purpose. “But he saved me tonight.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Anakin said, turning his attention to Kylo. “I know how hard it is to pull back from that power. When I lost myself to it, I hurt Padme. You didn’t hurt him.”

“Next time I might hurt him, though.” He gripped Hux’s hand tighter, to reassure himself that he was still there and alive. “And even if I didn’t I think I’d lose myself entirely.”

“I lost myself for more than twenty years.”  

Kylo frowned. “I’m not a Jedi. I’m never going to be the force for Light that Luke wanted.”

“My son struggled to find balance in the Force,” Anakin said. “He did you a disservice by not teaching you that struggle. You have to find your own balance, but for the last decade you’ve done nothing but seek an easy path to power.”

Kylo let out a bitter laugh. “Well I found it, but the cost is too high.”

“That’s not the only power you’ve found,” Anakin pointed out. “My son beat me because he was willing to sacrifice himself for me. For his sister. For his friends. And I beat Palpatine because I was willing to die for my son.”

Kylo remembered the certainty he’d felt when he confronted Snoke. He’d known that he could win because he was protecting Hux. The same way he’d been able to stop the lightning bolt. Each of those situations had been entirely about protecting Hux.

Tonight had been different. It had stopped being about Hux and became about his own anger that those men had dared to cross him.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that this was the lesson the Force had been trying to teach him all along. There was no reason that a former stormtrooper with no Force powers should be able to fight him, but the traitor had held held his own for long enough to protect Rey.

Rey had beat him time and again, and each time she’d been fighting for someone else. Luke had managed a feat of Force projection completely unheard of because he had been willing to die to protect his sister and the rest of the Resistance.

Kylo had only ever been fighting for himself.

Anakin smiled wryly, as he faded away. “At least you’re a faster study than I was.”

Hux stirred on the bed and opened his eyes. “Who were you talking to?”

“My grandfather.”

“What did Lord Vader have to say?” Hux asked, barely masking his apprehension. Not that Kylo could blame him. The last time Hux had witnessing him speaking to a Force ghost had been Snoke.

“That it’s a good thing I listened to you tonight.”

Hux relaxed and smirked at Kylo. “It’s always a good idea to listen to me.”

Kylo rolled his eyes, but didn’t debate the point. “You should go back to sleep.”

“You need to sleep too.” He tugged at Kylo. “Come here.”

Kylo let go of Hux’s hand to rearrange Hux's leg and then laid down next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Hux shifted around until they were laying face to face.

“I like your eyes the way they are,” Hux said quietly.

Kylo wondered if the painkiller he’d given Hux was stronger than he’d thought. He wasn’t usually a demonstrative man. Of course neither was Kylo under normal circumstances, but after everything they’d been through, he didn’t see any reason to guard the truth.

“I love you,” Kylo whispered.

Hux’s eyes widened and Kylo could feel the panic rolling off of him. His intent wasn’t to put Hux on the spot, so he leaned in and gave him a quick, reassuring kiss.

“Go to sleep, Armitage.”

 

**

 

“Go to sleep, Armitage,” Hux muttered sarcastically under his breath as he carefully laced up his boot over his wrapped ankle. “Like anyone could sleep after that.”

He was exhausted and more than a little irritable from lack of sleep. Ren’s ill-timed declaration had kept him up for most of the night while Ren had slept like a baby.

Love just wasn’t a word in his vocabulary. He’d never heard it as a child and had certainly never used it as an adult. He’d never even thought about it until Ren had gone and opened his big mouth last night.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Ren—he did, probably more than he should—but love… what did that mean?

Ren slipped back into the room carrying a bag of food and Hux found it difficult to meet his eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong with him—even when they’d hated each other he’d been able to stare Ren down.

Ren gave him a long, accessing look—the kind that meant he was reading the Force—and shook his head. “We have enough to worry about without you obsessing. Rey’s on her way and I’d rather not confront her with an audience.”

“What?” Hux exclaimed, jumping to his feet and immediately regretting it as his ankle throbbed and almost gave out. He was relieved that Ren didn’t move to help him. The assistance yesterday had been welcome, but he wasn’t an invalid in need of constant care and his pride couldn’t take anymore coddling. “What do you mean Rey’s coming?”

Ren tapped the side of his forehead. “I can feel her in the bond that Snoke formed. She knows what happened yesterday and is on her way.”

Hux knew that this should be the moment they parted ways. If Rey was coming for Ren there was nothing he could do other than get captured or killed during the confrontation.

It would be the logical decision, but from the moment he’d dragged Ren out of that cave he’d forgone logic no matter what he’d tried to tell himself.

Hux sighed. “What’s the plan?”

“We’ll go back to the farm and try to reason with her.”

“Reason with her,” Hux repeated incredulously. He dropped his head into the palms of his hands. “You do realize that they don’t let war criminals have conjugal visits, right?”

Ren laughed—actually laughed like there was something funny happening—and pulled Hux’s hands away from his face. He cupped Hux’s cheek with his good hand and rubbed his thumb gently over the bruise on his jaw. “Don’t worry, I have a good feeling about this.”

“That makes me worry more,” Hux muttered, and yet, the part of him that had abandoned all logic on Dagobah, the part that had held out hope yesterday, actually trusted Ren’s instincts. It was foolishness—he’d seen what had happened every other time Ren and Rey had fought—but still he believed.

He might not know what love meant but he was growing more comfortable with trust and hope.

 

**

 

Kylo stood with his arms crossed over his chest. His lightsaber hung at his waist, but he purposely kept his hand far away from it. He was determined that this time he and Rey would actually see eye to eye and not end up fighting each other.

“And you’re _sure_ she’s coming here?” Hux asked for at least the fourth time. His energy was nervous, but he was still standing with Kylo despite his misgivings.

He nodded curtly. He could feel Rey through their bond and she was already on the planet. It wouldn’t be long now.

He’d half expected her to arrive in the Falcon, but she drove up on a small speeder. She was alone, which was a relief. He had no doubt that if he was forced into a fight this time he would win, because he would be protecting Hux, while she would be fighting for herself.

“Ben,” Rey said, distaste clear in her voice. She approached him warily, her hand on the hilt of her lightsaber. She glanced behind him. “And Hux.”

Kylo inclined his head. “Rey.”

“I’ve come to take you both into custody.”

“No,” Kylo responded calmly. He made sure his mind was as open to her as he could make it, completely removing all of the barriers he'd put up  around their bond. “No prison can hold me and I’m no longer a threat to the Republic.” He tapped the side of his head. “Feel free to look for yourself.”

“No longer a threat?” Rey asked incredulously. “I felt what you did yesterday.” She shuddered. “The darkness was overwhelming.”

“For me as well,” Kylo admitted. He reached his organic hand out to her. “You once felt the shape of my future. What do you see now?”

“I was wrong then,” Rey said, even as she reached for his hand.

“No,” Kylo corrected her. “You saw me turn on Snoke and that did come to pass. You just misinterpreted what that meant.”

She frowned at him, but touched the tips of her fingers to his. The openness went both ways, and he saw a brief glimpse of her future, standing at his mother’s side as they guided the Galaxy into a new era. It filled him with a surprising amount of regret for a future that had no place for him.

She was more relaxed when she pulled away, her hand no longer hovering over her lightsaber. He wondered what she’d seen in his future, but not enough to ask. The future was too uncertain and knowing would do him no good.

“Even if I believe you, you can’t just expect me to let you go free after everything you’ve done.” Rey said. She gave Hux a thoughtful look and Kylo gave into his newly discovered protective instincts, moving so that he was blocking her approach to him. “Although, if I brought Hux back to stand trial it would go a long way toward bringing closure for the loss of the Hosnian system.”

“You can’t have him. He’s mine.” Rey gave him a disapproving look and so he clarified, “and I’m his.”

“He was responsible for the destruction of an entire system, Ben. Billions of lives were lost. He can’t just go free.”

“But you’re willing to let me go because you can see my future?” Kylo asked. “Or is it just because you realize that I’m right and no prison can hold me? Let us both go and we won’t trouble the Republic again." He paused and when she didn't say anything he implored, "Please don’t make me fight you, because this time I _won’t_ lose.”

Rey sighed and he suddenly realized how _tired_ she looked. There were dark circles under her eyes and the energy she was projecting into the Force was weary. “If I’m honest, I don’t know that dragging either of you back would actually help things. The rumor is you both died in that asteroid belt. At least that's what people want to think and having you reappear now would just drag all that pain back up….”

“So let us go,” Hux said, stepping forward until his shoulder was brushing against Kylo’s.

She gave them both a long, considering look. Her eyes lingered the longest on Hux and Kylo could feel her reaching out to sense the Force surrounding him. “The New Republic has plans for the Outer Rim. This region has gone lawless for too long. You can’t be here. If I let you go, you need to leave known space.”

“If the Republic is making plans to exert its will on the Outer Rim,” Hux said. “It won’t be long then.”

“Until what?” Rey asked.

“Until your precious New Republic is no different than the Empire they fought against for so long,” Hux answered. “Forcing its will and its idea of justice on other planets whether they want it or not.”

“By stopping criminals and freeing slaves,” Rey countered. “I grew up in the Outer Rim, I know what passes for justice here and the New Republic can fix that.”

“That’s where it starts. Not that I blame them. It’s the smart move,” Hux said. He turned to Kylo. “Take her offer.”

He turned on his heel and went back into the dome leaving Kylo alone with Rey.

“We’ll leave the planet within the week,” Kylo told her. “You won’t hear from us again.”

“I hope not,” Rey said. “For your mother’s sake if nothing else. She’s doing well in case any part of you cares.”

“I’m sure she’s in her element. Saving the Galaxy was always her passion.”

He was proud that he’d managed to keep his voice emotionless and not expose the lingering resentment he’d always felt at being second to his mother’s work as a child. He would never see his mother again and that was probably for the best—for both of them.

Rey gave him a pitying look. “You don’t understand her at all. She worries about you.”

Kylo really doubted that… not after what he’d done to Han. “She shouldn’t. But you can tell her I’m… okay… now.”

“You’re better,” Rey agreed. “But you’re a long way from okay.” She smiled at him, a small smile, but genuine unlike any he’d ever seen on her before. “Although the future I saw? It’s brighter than it was before. Stay on this path, Ben.”

She got back onto her speeder. “And don’t make me regret giving you both this chance.”

“I won’t,” Kylo said as he watched her disappear into the dual sunset.

 

**

 

Hux crammed their belongings into a bag. There wasn't much that hadn't been destroyed by his kidnappers, but there were still some clothing and essentials that they'd managed to recover. Of course they'd have to get a lot more things in Mos Eisley if they were going to survive in the Unknown Regions.

Correction—Ren was going to have to get them supplies in Mos Eisley because they had no credits and the Force was their only recourse. He would be useless to help.

He hated feeling impotent and the scavenger's visit had driven home just how much he was lacking. Ren had always been obsessed with the girl and treated her like an equal in ways that Hux had only dreamed of. He'd struggled for acknowledgment and she'd been granted it immediately by nature of her Force abilities.

No matter how hard he fought there were certain things he could never be and Rey’s presence had burst the private little bubble he and Ren had been living in.

"She's gone," Ren said from the door.

Hux didn't look up from his packing. “I don’t like her.”

“You don’t like anybody.”

“That’s not true!” Hux scowled at Ren. “I don’t dislike you.”

It wasn’t a declaration of love like Ren had given him, but it was all he could bring himself to say. As inadequate as it was, it made Ren smile.

“So are you ready to leave everything behind? Find a new place for ourselves?”

“Not really, but anything is better than living on the run.”

Ren crossed the room and slid his arms around Hux’s waist. His unseemly jealousy disappeared the moment Ren touched him—besides, it wasn’t like they were ever going to see Rey again. “The Unknown Regions won’t know what hit them.”

 

_Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux will return?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started this fic it was supposed to be a short 10-15k fic, but somehow along the way it ballooned and with that came the idea for two sequels. I've started the next fic, but it may be quite a while before it is ready to post. For that reason I have gone ahead and created the series listing so that if anyone is interested in being alerted when it posts you can subscribe to the series. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who went on this journey with me. This fic is very close to my heart and I hope I managed to entertain you along the way. I'd love to hear what you think in the comments. :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [shinysylver!](http://shinysylver.tumblr.com/)


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